Life Script in Transactional Analysis
Do you think you are living a destiny?
You may feel that people and events around you are shaping your life, that you are affected by situations that are out of your control, that you are unable to take charge of your life, or that you are being guided by a power greater than yourself.
You expect me to say, “No, you are not living a destiny, you can create your own life,” but my answer is, “Yes and no.”
Yes, you are living a destiny. Because you are living a destiny that has been written.
No, you are not living a destiny. Because you are living the destiny you have written and because you have written it, you can change and rewrite it as you desire. You are just not aware of it yet.
It is not my intention to confuse you. In this blog post, I will present to you one of the most significant concepts of Transactional Analysis, the “life script“.
Everyone writes their own life story.
“Life script“, which I will go into detail and explain in more depth, is the name we use for the life patterns we experience and our life story in a general sense.
Everyone writes their own life story. The foundation of this story is laid in the very early stages of childhood. And throughout his/ her life, the person constructs all the events in his/ her life in accordance with this foundation.
In my previous blog post, I mentioned life positions. It would be useful to read that post together with this one.
See also.
What is Transactional Analysis ?
Life Positions in Transactional Analysis
What you are experiencing is your own life script.
These life positions lay the foundation for your life script as well.
From the moment the person is born, they begin to shape their position. The story is established with numerous details from infancy to early childhood. Before adolescence, the life script has already been established.
- Therefore, when you were only 4 years old, you determined the central theme of your script.
- When you were 7, you provided more details.
- When you were 12 years old, you organized your script a little more. You added small details.
Even if you were unaware of the story you had started, you have come this far by adding new characters, incidents, and experiences to it. You have lived until today without being aware of your life script. Maybe you blamed it on fate, maybe you blamed the circumstances, maybe you blamed the people around you. However, you only ever lived the life you wrote for yourself—your own life script.
You just were not aware of it. And today is the day you become aware of your own life script.
Are you satisfied with your life script?
If you are satisfied with your life script, great! Simply carry on with your life. A state where you are satisfied with your life script is where you realize your potential, hold on to life with love and faith where flow in life, experience the best version of yourself or where you are the closest to living it.
However, if you are not satisfied with your life script, it means that life does not give you what you actually want. But I want to emphasize once again that now you know; it is not life, nor is it other people who are not giving you what you desire.
Realize your life script!
You are the one who does not give you what you desire. You and what you believe in. You and what you have written. You and the life script you write and continue to live.
In this post, I aim to help you better understand your life script, to become aware of it in a deeper sense. I suggest you invest some quality time and even write down the answers to the following questions as you work on them.
What is happening when you read what I have written so far and think about your own life script?
- What is going through your mind?
- How is your mood?
- What kind of sensations occur in your body?
Look at yourself from the outside now. Look at that person there.
- What would be the title of his/ her story?
- What is the dominant emotion in his/ her story?
- Based on what has happened so far in the story, how do you imagine the story will end?
What is life script?
Life script is one of the most fundamental concepts of TA. Eric Berne calls it an “unconscious life plan”. And he is right. People experience their lives in accordance with this unconscious plan. We have all made this unconscious life plan and we are currently experiencing it. Perhaps there are many people are not aware of this plan, but while life continues with happiness and satisfaction for those who are satisfied with what this plan brings; for those who are not satisfied with this plan, life is bad and cruel.
But life doesn’t have to be like this. When the individual realizes this unconscious plan, we can bring their unconscious to consciousness, and that’s when they can change their lives.
Can you wear the clothes you bought as a child in your adult life today? So why do you carry the burden of your childhood decisions in your life?
Life script is an unconscious plan of action but it is also a decision that is made. This decision is not one that is easily recognizable as it is a decision made with emotions, with behavior, with the unconscious rather than the conscious. It is shaped from the moment of birth and reinforced by parents and caregivers. Once the decision is firmly entrenched in the subconscious, the person takes all steps to confirm that decision. Because this is our way of looking at life now. And no one wants to find themselves in a situation that contradicts their view of life. It is natural to perceive anything outside our view of life as a threat. Therefore, we live in a way that confirms the life script every time.
This is not your fault!
Friends,
Surely you didn’t intend to ruin your life when you were a baby. The decisions you made then were based entirely on your feelings and emotions, independent of their objective truth. The goal was your own well-being. You wanted to protect yourself from the harm that could come from the world, from the surrounding environment. You were looking for the right way to live, to survive, to be loved in this alien world you were in. You were testing the accuracy of these strategies by finding the right one based on your feelings, based on what you understood that day from the way you were being treated. But you were not the same person you are today. You were just a child. You did not know how to use the language, you did not understand jokes, you did not understand metaphors, nor did you have the competence to evaluate and interpret different kinds of information and situations. You were just a baby then. You thought that if you were separated from your parents you would not be able to feed, you would not survive, that you would die. Your emotions were very intense. Your feelings were real, but very often your feelings were not based on reality. Because you could not interpret one event in relation to other events, you were moving from the part to the whole. You were generalizing what happened in one instant. And you had to, because you wanted to survive.
Perhaps your parents had an argument when you were little. Without realizing it, your mother, purely out of her feelings for your father, did not notice that you were smiling at her and did not smile back. Maybe you felt rejected that day. You thought you weren’t loved. And maybe from that day on, you tried for your mother’s love, but you were convinced that no matter what you did, you were not loved.
While this may not ring true in today’s reality, it could be the basis for your whole life story of feeling unloved. Whereas you can write your life story from your conscious perspective today.
Your life script is not your destiny!
Other things you can do while working on the questions I have provided above to recognize your life script:
- Pay attention to the events that you remember from your childhood.
- Watch your dreams.
- Allow free associations. Take audio or written recordings.
- Never dismiss the first things that come to mind, no matter how ridiculous they may seem.
- Look at yourself from the outside, watch your actions and take notes.
What you are going through is what you are destined for, it is not your fate. You can be yourself, you can walk with me to explore your potential and become the highest version of yourself.
Build your own life script with Transactional Analysis.