What is Transactional Analysis ?
Transactional Analysis
Transactional Analysis is a theory of psychology and communication. It deals with personality and aims to ensure the psychological development of the person. In this way, the individuals know that they need to change their personality in areas where they have difficulties in life and can take steps in this direction.
Who are you, exactly?
- Is it possible for you to define yourself with a single characteristic?
- Or can you come up with a definition that will meet every possible behavior?
- Are there times when you behave differently depending on the situation?
- Do you enjoy yourself a lot while you are among your friends but become hostile when something goes wrong?
- Do you consider the rules to be important?
- How often do you think about the opinions of society and the people around you?
- Are you sure you are moving forward with your own decisions?
- Do you sometimes find yourself acting like your mother or father?
Our personality contains many different identities and personalities. These personalities come to the fore in certain situations and take over our whole selves.
In my coaching sessions, I observe these personalities in the client’s words, body language, gestures and facial expressions without the client even being aware of it. This makes it easier for me to find what he/ she needs.
In this new blog post I will introduce you to that deeper nature of personality. In this way, I will present the key to changing your relationships and communication.
The secret of communication lies in our personality traits. In today’s blog post, I will talk about TA, Transactional Analysis; an important theory that will help you explore this world of personalities.
What is Transactional Analysis?
We can benefit from Transactional Analysis theory anywhere there are human relationships. With Transactional Analysis we can gain an understanding of a person’s personality structure and psychological state. We can then understand the reasons and motivations behind people’s behaviors. It becomes easier for us to identify which part of the person’s personality is reflected in their behavior.
In Transactional Analysis, communication is also analyzed. This enables us to better understand relationships, to recognize the systems that are established in relationships. Thus, it enables us to gain insight into the structure of difficult relationships in both our personal and professional lives, to facilitate communication in them, to solve unresolvable problems, to bring relationships that are not working to an optimal level, and to see, if this is not working, when we should leave a relationship without trying in vain.
Each one of these qualities makes our lives a lot easier. The Transactional Analysis theory helps you resolve problems in many areas of your life, from working with your manager and employees to managing your team to communicating with your family and friends.
What is the Basis of Transactional Analysis Theory?
Transactional Analysis is a theory put forward by Eric Berne that trains masters of communication analysis.
In essence, the theory recognizes all individuals as complete and whole. It is then stated that every individual can decide what happens in his or her own life and make up his or her own life story. According to Eric Berne, individuals come into the world as princes and princesses, but life turns them into frogs. You may have drifted away from your own essence and found yourself as a frog when you were a prince or princess. However, you can access your true essence, you can realize your own wholeness, you can be aware of your own wholeness, and you can make decisions and manage your life accordingly.
In his theory of Transactional Analysis, Berne argues that people are essentially good. According to him, everyone deserves respect. Everyone has value just for being who they are. And that is the essence of my coaching perspective.
The essence of all individuals is good, complete and whole; yet sometimes this perception of individuals is distorted and this distortion gets reflected in all their relationships. This is where learning and applying the theory is of central importance.
With Transactional Analysis theory, you can start to recognize everyone as equal, precious and worthy of respect, starting with yourself. You can be more tolerant of adult behaviors that are based on decisions people made in their childhood.
Our Ego States
Transactional Analysis uses ego states as the basis for developing an understanding of a person’s psychological structure. The ego state is a collection of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We develop behaviors based on a thought or emotion. An emotion causes a thought to form in our minds, and with that thought we develop behaviors to protect ourselves and keep ourselves in our safe space.
In TA theory, there are 3 types of ego states: Parent, Adult and Child.
Every human being carries all these three ego states in his/ her self. Yet he/ she does not exhibit them all at the same time. The individual reacts with certain ego state types in particular situations. Let’s take a brief look at these ego states now.
The parent ego state is the set of behaviors that we take on and learn from those who caretakers in our family, as children, and adopt into our lives. Our social and cultural rules, family traditions, our perceptions of what is shameful and forbidden, and the rules we have about life are located within this ego state.
Our child ego state is the natural and unaccountable part of us that acts on our instincts and emotions. It is the part of us that does not pay attention to social rules, that goes with the flow. He/ she may cry, laugh, enjoy him/ herself playfully or become irritable and aggressive.
The adult ego state is the part of us that can think, feel, see situations as they are, and make observations, here and now.
Under the influence of what we learn from our parents and our environment, we make decisions based on our child states and turn it into a life script.
Our Life Scipt
It is often discussed that the stories and burdens we bring from the past affect the way we live today. In this regard, Transactional Analysis theory introduces us to the concept of life script.
Even if our childhood experiences and the decisions we made at that time do not serve us today and even make our lives difficult, we try to implement those decisions without being aware of it. We strive throughout our adult lives to realize our script, which we started writing in childhood and completed to a very large extent at an early age. But what we must remember is this: If script does not change, life does not change.
If you cannot recognize the script, you cannot transform your script.
The Transactional Analysis model brings us the change we want in many areas, from psychotherapy to child development, from understanding ourselves to relationships we have with people, from communication in general to education, from organizational behavior to success in our private and business life and developing powerful, long-lasting bonds.
Achieve Your Authentic Self with Transactional Analysis!
Knowing Transactional Analysis has made my life a lot easier. I am sure it will make yours easier, too. Because in order to truly fulfill your potential, you need to make adult decisions and update your life strategies. It is in this way that the possibility to live a life of fulfillment arises. As yourself, with your authentic self reclaiming your autonomy.
In this blog post, I explain the basic assumptions about Transactional Analysis. Of course, the work is not limited to this. But nevertheless, it’s a good start. If you want to explore this topic in greater detail, I recommend you to take a look at the details of my Transactional Analysis training.
I will now provide some examples for you. By examining these examples and reflecting on the situations in your own life, and by understanding and transforming your attitudes and behaviors from a Transactional Analysis perspective, you can immediately begin experiencing the ease with which your life will flow.
Examples from Life
After a busy day at work, you are looking forward to leaving and dinner with friends in the evening. There is a little opportunity you have created to have fun, and you are excited. Just then, your manager comes out of the room and asks for an urgent report from you. How would you react?
A possible reaction might be that a management approach like that shouldn’t exist. This is a critical and judgmental stance. It comes from one’s Parental ego state.
Another possible reaction is to think that you can finish this report in two hours. This is a reaction of the Adult side; assessing the situation, the person can re-evaluate the event and make a new program.
Another possible reaction is to get angry and upset that you can’t go to dinner. This is a reaction of the child’s ego state. So, it’s just an instinctive reaction that arises from the fact that the desire at that moment is not met…
Let’s look at this example:
You are at work, you are working. A very dear friend of yours has had a serious operation that day and will remain in the hospital. You are very worried and concerned about your friend. You can’t focus on your work because of this worry. When you express this feeling to the colleague next to you, you are communicating with your instincts from your Child ego state. Suppose your expectation is that your friend will calm you down a little bit. What kind of reaction would you expect from him?
Would you be happy with the response, “Don’t worry, you can leave work half an hour early and go to the hospital for a visit“? Probably yes!
So, when your expectation is that your friend will calm you down; how does a reaction like this make you feel:
“I was also very worried that he was going through a such a serious operation.”
This reaction is likely to reinforce your anxiety rather than reduce it. Maybe you don’t want to prolong the conversation any longer.
Only when we receive responses from the levels of ego state we expect can communication flow smoothly. Otherwise, the relationship between people will not work, and if this happens too often, the relationship will break down.
Let me move on to another example:
If a wife says, “We need to get some things from the store,” and receives the response, “I am tired of spending money all the time,” how is it possible to bring that relationship to a healthy level of communication?
Transactional Analysis training is a process where you learn to analyze relationships, integrate it with real life applications, understand the games people play, and gain a much broader and deeper perspective on life and relationships. Experiencing this process brings a new perspective on your life and instant change.
What examples do you have in your life? Which ego states do you use and when? How do you observe the people around you? How are your relationships with those closest to you? Can you find similar examples? How about observing and writing about them more during the day?
Making a Difference in Leadership with Transactional Analysis
As a coach or as a leader, wouldn’t it be useful to uncover the motivations and behavioral patterns of the other person from the nonverbal contact messages they provide you before they even tell you anything?
Or wouldn’t it be nice to discover where your client is in terms of his/her psychological state and what they need in the first minutes of your meeting?
We expect a leader to be an individual who, depending on the current situation, identifies strategies for the present or future of the group or community he/she leads, takes decisions and oversees all processes, while at the same time striving to take responsibility for success in them.
On the other hand, being able to gather individuals around a specific goal is not enough. Spiritually, through his or her personality, character and rhetoric, the leader manages to create loyalty and support in those around him/her. In this way, the leader gains the unconditional support of the people in his/her circle and makes the moves that will ensure that they will act in unison with him/her in any case.
An individual who has analyzed themselves with Transactional Analysis and shifted their life script in the right direction, while exhibiting honest attitudes and expressing themselves truthfully, will affect the people around them in their professional, social and private lives, and will contribute to the transformation of their circles and then the world.
My blog posts are here to be your companion as you begin applying Transactional Analysis to transform your life. Because exploring the nature of personality will first transform your relationships and then your life.