Under any circumstances, human beings are in need of communication. If you think that it exists only in verbal scale, you are unaware of the benefits of the unlimited world it will provide you with.

From the moment you read these lines, your opinion on communication will completely change; believe me!

Communication

Communication is basically the only way an individual can fully express him/ herself, socialize, and understand the people in front of him/ her. To evaluate it in another way, it is a qualitative and elaborate action that removes the individual from a being that merely exists living on consumption, and turns him/ her into a socially active being.

Communication plays a pivotal role in ensuring harmony particularly between individuals and societies and in making sure that the interactions are of quality.

It is extremely important for you to know that; as long as communication exists and the level of reciprocity increases, it actually makes you more of who you are, allows you to express yourself and makes you a part of the social formation. Like everyone else, you will need it very much for a mentally and spiritually healthy life.

With communication, the individual does not only express him/ herself, but beyond that, he/ she also gets clear on what the world around him/ her is made of. This clarity can bring people closer, or it can also cause them to move away from each other.

But the main issue of importance is that, as a result of existence of healthy communication, individuals have the chance to understand one another more accurately. At a time when understanding and listening are of utmost importance, but are so neglected, you should know that your communication skills and your focus not only on yourself but also on the people around you will have many benefits. Because listening while communicating, as much as talking, will be a good guide for you to build valuable relationships with the people around you.

Remember that in communication people are just as valuable as you.

All kinds of elements in the communication processes provide an opportunity to further increase the interaction between the parties in communication. Words, symbols, gestures and facial expressions all determine the direction of the discourse in the communication process.

All individuals have a unique communication style; and the quality of this communication is undoubtedly fueled by individuals’ identities, cultures and standarts of judgment. However, it is valuable for an individual to be in tune with the conditions of their time and place in the name of expressing him/ herself, feeling understood and feeling like a part of a moment, place or a community. That is why the time that is slipping by right in front of you, the space you are in, your understanding of communication that is accordant with the faces you know, that adds value to them and thus attains it in return, will make you a substantial individual in society.

You are capable of expressing yourself clearly and being properly understood by people; believe in this, trust in your words, knowledge and words reflected on time from the depths of your soul!

Although the current communication that takes place in the physical sense is the basic vital function of people, the digital platforms it is carried onto points to a radical change in the form of communication.

Communication processes that are performed without seeing one another and that are mostly based on written texts, seem to be the new way for people to express themselves. Will this new digital communication process replace the common communication methods? Undoubtedly, traditional communication will not just lose its everlasting place in our lives.

Nevertheless, you will have to keep up with all the changes and transformations that communication has gone through regardless of work, school or private life. You have to make sure that the more you can adapt to the transforming nature of it, the easier it will be for you to understand the rest of society, express yourself according to new standards and land on your feet in communication processes.

Times are changing; it’s up to you to make the choice to seize it and not get lost in its gears.

Regardless of physical or digital, what you should keep in mind is that communication does not only involve instant interaction processes; in fact, it is the embodiment of content of the information transferred from today to tomorrow that ensures that today’s individuals and societies pass down something valuable to the next. For this reason, in order to understand, to be understood and to remembered forever, you also have to better yourself and the people around you in the communication processes.

Sharing the values that make you who you are with people in the right way, will one day help you to be remembered as a nice, authentic and successful person in their minds.

Feelings in your mind, words in your tongue, now is the time to say something nice.

If you would like to check out our training programs, please click here.

Previous article, “Leader, Leadership and Leadership Qualities”

Who says fairy tales are only for children? Once upon a time;

“A hunter sets a trap. The poor bird is trapped, caught by trickery. The bird says to the hunter who catches it;

‘O master, you have eaten sheep and cattle many times in your life, and you have sacrificed camels many times, too. You will never be sated with my meat when you are not even sated with their meat. If you release me, I will give you three pieces of advice. You can make up your mind according to my advice. I will give the first of these three advices while I am still in your hands. I will say the second one when I land on that roof and the third one when I land on that tree. You will be very happy to hear these three advices, believe me.”

The hunter accepts the bird’s offer out of sheer curiosity. The advice the bird will give while it is in the hunter’s hand is:

“Don’t believe anyone who talks of the improbable.” Then the hunter, who cannot make sense of what he hears, frees the bird. The bird flies away and lands on the roof of the house. There it gives the second advice.

“Don’t be upset about a missed opportunity. Do not whine and worry.” Then, the hunter likes what he hears, and he begins to think about it.

After the bird gives the second advice, it flies and lands on the branch of the tree before the third advice and it says, “I had a very precious pearl weighing 10 dirhams in my stomach. That pearl would have made you and your children rich. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be.”

When the hunter hears the birds saying these words, he begins to whine and wail. The bird says,

“Didn’t I tell you not to worry about anything that got away from you?
You lost the pearl, why do you beat yourself up about it?
Did you not understand the advice I gave you?
I told you that no matter who talks to you of the improbable, do not believe it. My whole weight is not three dirhams. How can I have a 10 dirham pearl in my stomach?”

Upon these words, the hunter seems to come to his senses a little.

“Now give me your third piece of advice,” he says. The bird says, “As if you have kept the two advices I gave you, you are asking me for the third advice. Giving advice to a person who has fallen asleep is no different from planting seeds in a wasteland. The tear of stupidity and ignorance can never be patched, and flies away…“

Are you the hunter, the bird or the reader of the fairy tale?

THE AWAKENING THAT COMES WITH COACHING!

Make sure that you are not willing to settle for unhappiness just because you are used to it. Addictions are not only against substances or people. We can also develop addictions for the negative feelings we have. It is very important that we realize the exact depth of the space we define as the safe space or comfort space, and become clear about what emotions are contained in this space.

“What are the existing negative emotional habits that I have?” is a self-awareness question that allows us to analyze the current situation. While the first answers you will give are superficial, the answers you will have upon careful reflection are tips that allow you to deepen and reach the source. “ What are my irrepressible obsessive desires?” Listen to your answers that provide internal control of whether or not you are in an illusion bubble.

A renewal that changes your stance in life!

Breaking your old patterns will sometimes terrify you in coaching sessions, but everything that does not really serve your happiness and does not lead you to a completely fulfilled life, that you are not aware of, goes away. After that, you will become stronger through renewal. Embrace innovation and abundance!

Be willing to fill your life with the new! You don’t need a bird to come and give you advice! Don’t let a bird trick you! You don’t need to be a hunter either! When you are complete and whole with yourself in every way, your presence is an opportunity! It’s possible for you to go from states of false necessity to free will through coaching!

Recently, a client of mine shared with me a piece she read on social media. This piece, I do not know from where it was quoted, became the inspiration for my blog post.

“Horses work hard, run very fast and win the Veterans Run. They give 3 million to the owner, 250 thousand to the rider, and carrots to the horses.”

I laughed a lot when I first read this piece, which I realized as a metaphor VALENCE PERCEPTION. How do we know that we deserve the best in every way?

• What do we think we don’t deserve because of deeply ingrained beliefs?
• Maybe there are a lot of things we don’t even know how to dream about, right?
• What is in the way of our dreams?

What we will have in this life are not the rewards of our good behavior! They are the results of our feelings, thoughts, beliefs and actions.

Accept the good gracefully!

Accepting outside help is not just about you personally, it’s about allowing yourself to be helped so that you can help others through your contribution to life. I would especially like to ask our coach candidates who are on their way in the coaching profession and our clients who have applied for a coaching session to think again. How is it possible to accept gratitude yourself for the sake of the whole?

I share with you a situation that I have observed frequently in my recent coaching meetings. Many of you are in “relationships” that hurt you and cause you suffering. In this process, I recommend that you take a coaching session from a coach who has the basis of Transactional Analysis and Gestalt theory for a personal analysis about yourself.

You should realize that the role of being the chief architect of salvation for every situation you experience is entrusted to you in your life positions. With your coach’s strong and accurate questions, you will find answers that will enable everyone involved in the event to be resolved in cooperation, including yourself, with confidence in your inner voice, and with an open mind.

Remember that everything you experience, all relationships are filled with lessons of growth and development. Even though it may seem like the opposite when they are happening, let us know that we are at the core of all the events. When you find yourself in any discussion or conflict in your life relationships, your coach will be by your side to facilitate your resolution.

If you genuinely want to have grace, tolerance, peace, and healthy relationships in your life, if you are really tired of the rudeness, turbulence, and chaos around you, if you say “There is only one of me in this life and this life is mine“, good news for you; you didn’t miss out on any opportunities! You will understand when you explore your talents and strengths with your coach in your coaching session! Coaching is with you, with pleasure!

Previous article, “The limits exist only in the mind!”

In terms of the management of processes, the ability to manage them in line with the interests of these communities is of utmost importance due to the presence or presences of individuals head of these communities. These individuals are undoubtedly responsible and they are up for the challenge. Throughout history, the presence of such individuals has been needed continuously. The existence of these individuals called “leaders“, represents a much-needed identity and is extremely favorable. As the leaders have a significantly active role in achieving success, especially in the business world.

Now, together we will discover who a leader is, how he should be like, and how you can be one. Are you ready?

Conceptually, a leader is considered as an individual who determines the present or future strategies and makes decisions of the group or community he/ she is in charge of, controls all processes, and strives to take success-oriented responsibilities in these processes.

Leadership

In this conceptualization, which can be seen as a common approach for leaders, the leader is evaluated in terms of his/ her ability to manage and lead. Therefore, he must know how to gather his/her circle around him with his/ her characteristics.

If you too aspire to be a leader, you will need to not only manage and lead the people around you, but also to establish flawless communication with them. Because your communication and managing skills as a leader help you to be accepted and respected by the people around you as a leader. You should never forget this.

On the other hand, a leader is not just an individual who is capable of gathering people around for a specific purpose; beyond that, he/ she is an individual who has succeeded in morally making the people around him/ her dependent on and supportive to him/ her, thanks to the communication they establish with their personality, character and expressions. The leader has won the unconditional support of his/ her circle as is and has made moves that will allow him/ her to take joint action with them in any case.

As a result of this unconditional love and respect that you too can access as a leader, it will be extremely easy for you to influence the ones around you. But, you should remember that the fact that a leader is such a popular figure and finds unconditional support refers to an extremely sensitive process. If this process fails, your leadership will not be accepted enough and your position will be not be stable. As a leader, people need you and knowing this will further integrate you with them.

Apart from the position that the leader holds as a role, the attitude that he/ she displays as a leader refers to the concept of “leadership”. According to this, leadership refers to the whole of leader’s efforts to encourage and lead his/ her circle in consequence of conditioning them as success and future-oriented. With leadership, leaders reveal their own identities as well as their ability to manage and guide in a more powerful way. In other words, leadership is perhaps the most important process for understanding the real qualities of the leader within you.

This challenging task you undertake also reveals clearer signs of who you are, what you can give to those around you as well as the themes of your behavior. Perhaps the most important point in this process for you is that the picture painted by all of your exhibited behaviors, clearly informs the people around you on whether you duly perform your duty, or not.

Leadership Qualities

Again in a definition that evaluates it in another framework, leadership is an action that puts forward an assertive and accepted will through using the power granted to the leader properly as well as transforming his/ her talents into action in a way that correctly leads the people around them. This will emphasizes the importance of leadership in terms of the leader guiding the people around him/ her, and the people subsequently achieving success by taking responsibility as he/ she does.

When the success and development of the people around you depend so much on you, your leadership is a process that can truly bring out this trait you that have. As a leader, it is possible for you or anyone else to be named so, but for you, the determinant of whether you really act as a leader after taking this title will be the attitudes you display during the leadership process. What you should keep in mind, and what will also guide you is the necessity and the need to put leadership, your title, into practice.

With leadership, whether the leader really deserves the title he/ she has is understood clearly and the respect shown to his/her by the people around them is then either reinforced or vanished. Leadership, at this point, is the process in which the most concrete indicators come forward in order to motivate the people around you. With good leadership, leaders will not have any problems guiding their circles and it is extremely easy for them to achieve success in every job they undertake, along with the unlimited support of those around them. The greatest responsibility for these reasons is that they fully fulfill what is expected of them in the leadership process.

Surely there will be many people around you who expect something from you. Do not be afraid and be confident instead; In this way, the more people around you trust you, the better you will lead; and the better you lead, the better you will be able to help them precisely reach the goal they desire.

On the other hand, leadership includes taking important actions such as creating an organization, managing it, giving it a shape and keeping it under control in a way that is continuous. In this view, leadership has an influence that is beyond the leader title; it refers to the ability to manage a large organization and crowd, assuming responsibilities above a certain capacity as well as the ability to control a large crowd of people with respect to this.

Think about your professional and personal life for a moment; there are many people that needs to be properly lead and managed, aren’t there? However, as you act with a sense of responsibility in this process, you will naturally guide the people around you in sharing this responsibility and persuading them to take this responsibility as well.  In this way, the bond between you and the people around you can be as strong as your leadership; believe that it can!

The most important thing for you is to detect the qualities of a leader in the most accurate way. Therefore, having the following qualities in the name of becoming good leader, along with your efforts, will lead you to a perfect leadership:

You must strive to establish a strong and effective communication with your environment.

You have to show a clear attitude in the decision-making process and thus, convey the message to the people around you that they need to be clear also.

In the actions that will be performed, you should act with a focus on innovation and creativity.

In the actions that will be performed, you should focus on your mind and not on your emotions.

In order for the process to continue swiftly and smoothly, while communicating with the people around you in a certain and qualified manner, you should give prominence to your intuitive mind and reason.

In terms of posture and pace, you should exhibit attitudes and behaviors that will encourage those around you to work with a fast pace just like yourself.

Previous article, “Inner Coaching”

All the roads you take include yourself. When you want to get somewhere, the right place is to stop by yourself first. That’s why, no matter the topic in question is in coaching, you experience putting yourself at the center. This connection will take you to the point of union with yourself.

The topic that makes the heart flutter with coaching!

The topic I have chosen today is of a quality that allows you to break through the limits of connection in your mind for you before you enter a new year, with a different perspective!

Are you ready? We are rising into the atmosphere!

Mental Practice: Meteorological Hazards

TORNADO, HURRICANE, STORM!
Where is the Heart of the Hurricane?

What do meteorological hazards mean to you?
Tornadoes, hurricanes and storms…
What do you think about them?

Weather events, in which the destruction of the wind wreaks havoc, affect a very large area and last for a very long time. Sometimes they can be detected beforehand, and sometimes they can appear out of nowhere. You may be aware of the effects of the recent disaster in the USA, where we frequently hear about the formation of storms, tornadoes, and hurricanes that are seen in different parts of the world and have pretty devastating effects.

In fact, the formation of all weather events, is similar to one another, regardless of their complexity. What sets a tornado apart from the others in the formation of the weather event is that the water carried to the upper levels is much more than the others and it constantly rises rapidly.

According to the general scientific explanation, the rising air as it heats up, like boiling water, condenses due to the cold air at the upper level, revealing billions of water particles.

These billions of micro water particles combine to form the shapes we call clouds, and the size of the clouds varies depending on the speed of the air carried. Hot and humid air that rises very quickly begins to be absorbed by the air, which is much colder than the rising air.

At this time, the air is very unstable, and as a reaction to this instability, a spiral shape is formed under the cloud. Air rising rapidly above ground level lowers pressure and temperature. In the meantime, the wind increases its intensity and the water vapor starts to condense. Condensing water vapor causes the spiral shape that begins to appear under the cloud to become more pronounced and the air to become more unstable, causing the tornado to increase in strength.

The spiral shape, which starts to grow, rapidly cools and condenses the air it absorbs from the bottom, and along with lightning, hail and heavy showers join the current. Tornadoes are much smaller than a tropical cyclone, but just as devastating at the cellular inner core. A tornado that occurs over the sea, ocean or a lake creates a WATER TORNADO with the water it absorbs from the ground. SNOW TORNADO and FIRE TORNADO can also occur according to the seasonal changes of the weather.

• Now imagine these tornadoes for a moment, please.
• What decisions have my life and relationships made for me?
• Where have these decisions taken me?
• What results made me and those affected happy?
• What results made me and those affected unhappy?
• What did all these results teach me?
• What do these experiences I learned make me experience now?
• What does make those affected experience? How does that make me feel?
• What is the picture I see with my answers?
• What do I want to change?
• What do I need to do to make the change I want?
• What is the life that would make me feel good if lived?
• What are the experiences that I invite those affected?
• What would be the first action step that will get me closer to the change I want?

Situations you have to deal with, seeking solutions to your troubles, needing to set a direction or take a new path, moments when you want to make decisions about certain areas of your life… YOU and YOUR LIFE are like a kind of tornado when your focus is on these issues for a while. The answer you gave to these two questions about the tornado is similar to the way your mind worked in that period. Let’s break this connection with our minds that get whatever they want, with awareness!

Get the swords ready!

Every moment is an opportunity to take your goal to your vision of the future.

Your thoughts, your energy, and your attention are like arrows. As I mentioned in my previous blog post, wherever it is that you focus your precious time, your energy, and resources will always grow.

• Where are your thoughts right now?
• What are you focusing your energy and attention on?
• Are you constantly taking actions that will align you with your purpose and vision?

Awaken the sword of difference and awareness to remove all kinds of obstacles from inside and outside. Create a new structure in your life according to who you want to be by using the power of awareness in your thoughts. Take the right goal to your vision that you will create. Redesign your communications and dialogues.

• What is possible for me to make you feel the love I have for you?
• What do we need in order to experience love more fully in this life?
• Who should I be to have healthier relationships?
• How does what you told me benefit our relationship?
• What is the benefit of what you are making us go through now?  
• What is the first action you can take today to align with your vision?

Coaching session

With coaching sessions, your coach will accompany you at every step of your life journey. The answers are inside you, not on the outside. Whatever your mind may believe, there is an inner center within us where the truth resides in its entirety. With coaching, you will be able to uncover the guidance of this inner center that is that is free of misjudgment and you will find that you are responding to the truth from within.

When you find answers to questions with your inner center, you will realize that you are the one who guides you in every step of your life journey. The only person who can do the work and tell you what to do is yourself. Has a tornado formed in your life? Move forward easily in your inner center.

Do your best. Blissfully, calmly and let it become fun, not a hindrance. Remember that you are rising into the atmosphere!

Calm your thoughts and the destruction that is happening around you, be content, feel the love, and let things go their way, you will see everything will get better. If the YOU in your inner center wants a change, he/ she will do it for you. If there is no gale, continue to enjoy life serenely, quietly and blissfully. The YOU in your inner center always has exquisite ways of helping.

Realize how wonderful is the wisdom that is available to you with your knowledge of life. Live the life you approve with your inner center to the fullest, not according to your whims, and ensure others live so as well. Ready or not, one day we will all come to a final moment. When that day comes, the effects of the tornado, our anger, our frustrations, our grudges and the rest will no longer matter.

This is what we aim for in our coaching sessions, asking our clients what brings them to us, questioning right after, what is the priority and importance of this for them.

Today, we have moved on to the topic that makes your heart flutter, so what really matters?
What is the value of our days in the life we live?

“Those who do not dare look at the sun are condemned to remain in the shade, mistaking the shadow for light.” Sometimes you have to move forward on cloudy, rainy, snowy, stormy days and days where there are tornadoes. Sometimes it is day, sometimes it is night, but there is only one way for you. Always be willing to move forward, regardless of circumstances.

May the sun always be with us…

Previous article “Dialogues are Updated with Transactional Analysis”

You cannot write on a whiteboard with white chalk. You have to write on a blackboard so that the writing is clear. It is a state of understanding and comprehension. Understanding! There is surrender in this relief. You will suddenly be surprised. Each awareness that gains meaning will lead you to happiness and success in all areas of life, but how?

You will understand why things happen. As you discover the magic inside you, you will clarify the situations in which you are mistaken. You will realize that it is time to keep the promises you have made to yourself. You will work hard on your dreams. Maybe you will complete the unfinished things that you think about all night or morning long, but how?

The snake sheds its skin when it realizes that it does not fit in its body. It doesn’t worry thinking, what if my new skin doesn’t form? It sheds away its old skin by moving forward and never looks back at the skin it left behind, because growth is inevitable, but how?

Say goodbye to your old skin! Sad days are just as necessary as happy days. It starts the process of clarification and organization. To take action is to gain strength. The state of being confronted with yourself gives you courage. It enables you to trust your self-knowledge. Life is mentoring you, but how?

Drop your burdens to become one with your wish!

We are together not to dream into the future from here and now, but to build a life. Coaching with Transactional Analysis theory opens up highly powerful doors for us that reflect our perspective on life. It enables us to analyze these doors, which reflect our view of the world that make up our life positions.

It allows us to examine and restructure our personality style, our inner ego state, the way we work with life, and the way we communicate in our relationships. In this way, we have a life plan that we bring into view rather than just dreaming of it.

I ask you to carefully follow the blog posts that I will write one after the other, for the period until the new year. I have prepared wonderful surprises for you because I want this new year to be much more different than previous years for all of us. What will make 2022 different from other years? Even though I don’t know your beliefs, what I mean is not to wish and let go, but to let go of the burdens and become one with our wishes!

Any ingrained blind belief you are unaware of will consume you.

Perhaps you need a reliable voice. Does starting a new day every day really bring luck? Maybe all the methods you have tried so far to expand your awareness were left in the air at first. Have you noticed the onslaught of time flowing over you without being noticed in your life positions?

Maybe you have reached a breaking point due to mental exhaustion, but you didn’t have the energy to continue fighting, it’s possible. You expected that surrendering to the flow and being flexible along the life path would inevitably lead you to the highest place. You wanted to let go of expectations, and you believed whatever. You could not avoid dissociating yourself from the outcome. You got sucked into a whirlpool when it was possible to make rowing easier at the end of your struggle as you were challenging it all.

The current was supposed to take you away.

When you were distracted by thoughts or noises, it was very difficult to refocus your attention. It’s like wandering in the ocean of your devious mind…

• Who is going to take me on the route?
• What was the route?
• There may have been moments when you experienced this as well. Is it satisfying to be a leaf tossed around in the air and be vulnerable in every storm?  
• I wonder, how many people are feeling lost?
• Have you ever wondered, have I surrendered to the flow, or am I just drifting?
• What experiences have you had that you sacrificed yourself by saying it should be much more than that, and you constantly pleased others?

I invite you to sit in the ME SEAT.

• Would you like to have a nice view on this seat where you will be looking at life in a way that you have not before?  
• What would it be like if, instead of a place where the outside is known and the inside is unknown, you were in a place where the outside is known and the inside is intriguing?
• What is the current of the flow in your mind when your mind jumps from one fear to another, like swimming in an unfamiliar ocean?
• What is not active in your self, what are you are not working on?
• Does worrying about something change the outcome?
• Could it be that you are suffocating all the good things inside of you?
• How does a millipede move forward without mixing up its legs?
• How does the path to integrity find harmony within ourselves and in our lives?
• How is our communication, which ensures the integrity of our relationships, both personally and as a community?
• What is the balance that will help you grow, create, improve who you are?
• What is overlooked by our internal structures that are encouraged to imbalance?

Coaching with Transactional Analysis

There is a balance between our shifting and evolving selves. With these selves, we go in and out of every role. Our roles and life positions, however, are writing compositions. This point where Transactional analysis and coaching come together, provides us with the strongest facilitation, an opportunity to write a new composition!

We are constantly writing scripts and creating our own stories. To revitalize, breathe life, support growth, find and soften the spikes, find the breaking points of our hearts and personalities, balance and support them, TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS and Coaching tools allow you to bring your dreams to life.

Communication, communication, communication… We will analyze together our selves, personalities, and prominent style that establish communication in this field, on which there are countless studies. You will notice how landscapes can be easily beautified when even the originally perfect parts are spoilt. Coaching tools that enable formless thoughts to come to life are the providers of change and development towards a healthy state of relationships, communications, and ideals.

We will work together for the new composition of truth created by your whole being. If we want 2022 to be different for ourselves, we must get to know ourselves in all aspects of our journey to self-knowledge.

I invite you to me seat, not to dream, but to build a life. Get ready to receive the notification of the next blog post! Let’s start the future together!

Previous article, “Your Session Application Has Been Accepted!”

It’s time for your personal reality to change. In a life that exists with your actions and others’ behaviors towards you, it is very important that you become aware of the true definition of the emotions you are feeling.

I insist that you, for yourself, have a session with me, with the help of coaching tools, right and powerful questions, distinctive methods of theoretical approaches, and most importantly, methodologies where I combine the teachings I have learned throughout my life with coaching techniques. Because know for sure that Coaching has always offered me the most powerful and permanent solutions in my life. This is the main reason why I always insist on the impact that coaching creates! Please don’t see me as separate from yourself.

Don’t think of me as different from yourself. While life goes on with some situations and cycles for me too, I would like to thank life and my experiences for having me write a book on the definition of Self-Coaching, with the name THE FUTURE STARTS TODAY, for everyone. Although the process of change, transformation, and development is different for the story of every one of us, I would like to remind you that I am your companion with the COACHING profession. Know that I will always be your inner voice, the listener who understands you, and I will never be the one to judge, question, interpret what you have told, guide or criticize you.

Don’t wait for life to give you an illness, crisis, trauma, or a tragic situation to get out of your current situation and grow. Nor expect to be suddenly disconnected from your familiar life.

Do not be a victim of feelings and situations such as unhappiness, failure, love, lack of money. Do not expect to get into a feeling that you do not feel like yourself, or even feel quite alienated from yourself. Please don’t expect to experience a strong downfall. Should there be a specific event for you to protect yourself?!

HOW DO YOU TELL THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE?

If you love telling the story of your past that much, stop for a minute and think. What would it be like if you created the story of your future and started telling, and in time living, that story?

Coaching approach that integrates Transactional analysis and Gestalt theory enables you to create and live a brand-new life story. Being able to define your best version, what we call the old you and the new you, is just the beginning so that we can initiate a change with your coaching session!

The state of discomfort you are feeling in the present is actually the strongest call for change from your inner voice! It is a state of pressure that says: “Something has to change come on, come on, come on!” What are you determined to change about yourself? What conditions are you complaining about? It is the last stage before you decide to leave your excuses, justifications, complaints, judgments! Know for certain that you will feel very satisfied after your coaching session.

“My brain gave an ERROR, Mr. Elibol, it’s a complete blue screen!”

I remembered the words of a valuable client in our coaching session, we had laughed a lot. When he said “my brain gave an error, Fatih Bey, a complete blue screen!” while laughing out loud, what he actually experienced was the powerful awareness that came with an “A HA!” moment. When the fiction of the life story he told for years changed, all his emotions and his whole reality had changed. What happened at this coaching session I was talking about?

Here you go to the session;

WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR CURRENT LIFE?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT WAS IT THAT YOU WANTED?

YOUR ANSWER IS;……………

WHAT WAS USEFUL TO YOU IN ALL THIS?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT DO OTHER PEOPLE THINK AND FEEL ABOUT THIS STORY YOU ARE TELLING?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………

WHAT DO YOU NEED AND WHAT DO YOU WANT IN THIS STORY YOU ARE TELLING?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………

WHAT CAN YOU LEARN FROM YOUR CURRENT LIFE?

YOUR ANSWER IS;……….

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IN THIS WHOLE STORY?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU WITH THESE THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO HAPPEN?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………

WHAT ARE YOUR POSSIBLE OPTIONS?

YOUR ANSWER;……..

WHAT IS THE BEST THING TO DO RIGHT NOW?

YOUR ANSWER;……..

WHAT DOES DOING THIS MAKE YOU FEEL AND THINK RIGHT NOW?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE IF THIS REALLY HAPPENS?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT WOULD THE YOU, WHO EXPERIENCED THIS IN YOUR LIFE, SAY TO YOU?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

DO YOU THINK HE/ SHE IS HAPPY WITH THIS RESULT OR IS HE/SHE PRETENDING?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO HEAR FROM YOURSELF RIGHT NOW? WHAT’S IN YOUR MIND?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT IS HE/SHE NOT TELLING YOU, WHAT IS HE/SHE HIDING FROM YOU?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIS /HER EMOTIONS AND WHAT HE/SHE DOES?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT DOES HE/SHE WANT TO DO IN THE NEXT STEPS?

YOUR ANSWER;……..

WHAT ARE HIS/HER ACTIONS FOR THIS?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT IS GOING THROUGH YOUR MIND RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU RECOMMEND TO HIM/ HER?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT DO YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE NEW YOU IN THIS NEW LIFE?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT DOES THE NEW YOU WANT MOST FOR HIM/ HERSELF IN YOUR NEW LIFE?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT’S IN HIS/ HER PLANS?

YOUR ANSWER;……..

HAS THE NEW YOU INCLUDED YOU IN THESE PLANS?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS SESSION FOR THE OLD YOU AND THE NEW YOU?

YOUR ANSWER;……..

WHAT WERE YOU FEELING BEFORE COMING TO THE SESSION, WHAT ARE YOU FEELING NOW?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE NOW FROM TODAY TO THE FUTURE. WHAT KIND OF LIFE DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

WHAT PREVENTS YOU FROM LIVING THE LIFE YOU WANT?

YOUR ANSWER IS;………………

Notice the stage you have come to up to this part of our session. You may hear a voice inside you that is blocking you. “Why don’t you start tomorrow, Isn’t the life you’re familiar with more comfortable, What change, what has changed so far, what I’ve experienced, what I feel, it’s his/ her/ their fault,…“

These are the voices of the saboteur. I recommend that you read the “SABOTEUR” section of our FUTURE STARTS TODAY book and immediately apply it.

The most powerful way to know the future is to create it!

THE SHOW WORLD!

Show yourself to yourself. What is similar to “Show” in your life? What is the success you want to have in your own world, in your life? Do you want to show, now get down to the field from the tribune! Be applauded, not just the one who applauds! Shine like a star! Give yourselves a round of applause! This life is yours! Are you going to live your life as a spectator?  

No! You are both the tribune, and the star!

In order to get to the point you want to reach from the current situation, first make an impact on yourself. Take a step towards success. Don’t wait for a moment of experience. If your conditioned belief is an outside influence, I’m so sorry, that will never happen. You need the awareness to be able to aware, literally.

I recommend you to watch the video about motivation on my Youtube channel. However, know that; if there are shadows in the darkness, the light shines somewhere, as well, because if there was no light, there would be no shadow in the dark. All you have to do is get clear.

How will you transition into a brand-new state of existence, what are the thoughts that you will not listen to, what are the thoughts that you will listen to, what are the thoughts about your future vision, what feelings would you choose to live with each day?

Please contact me to receive a private coaching session regarding your story from me.

Your Session Application Has Been Accepted, You Can Make Your Appointment!

Previous article, “Coaching with Gestalt”

As soon as we are free from the past that we live in our own minds and that put ourselves through the experience of, we realize that the feelings of the past that we cannot change cannot affect the present.

Famous actor from India, Aamir Khan says; “Whatever the problem is, you must soothe your heart and say: “Everything is fine“. Because the heart is sensitive and believes in your words quickly.” With these words I saw on social media, I was reminded of the days I lived in India for a while. While laying the foundations of a more loving world with the coaching profession, after the session, I went back in time for a moment and wanted to write about the servant and ruler lives that have become beliefs in themselves.

“If you repeat it long enough, you subconsciously turn a thought into a belief.”

“What you believe, you live.”

“Beliefs are seeds planted in the soil of the mind.”

BELIEFS and THOUGHTS…

What are the beliefs that govern you and your life?

What beliefs do you have in your mind that don’t belong to you?

What are your assumptions that you accept as the reality?

How do you get rid of these beliefs that don’t belong to you?

If you didn’t have these beliefs, how would you think, how would you talk, and how would you move forward in life?

I mentioned these in great detail within the context of KNOWING YOUR MIND, which I discussed in a chapter in my book, The Future Starts Today.  From the beginning, I wrote a book where you can start your own transformation by coaching yourself, and it has been my top priority that this book is not just a classic book that tells you what to do and gives you information. I have created special pages for you to ask questions and answer yourself. While reading this blog post, I want you to be able to ask yourself questions and coach yourself, as well.

How do you want to live the rest of your life?  
What kind of people come into your life again and again? What kind of people do you want to a live with?

I hear people say, what can I do with a decayed, moldy, rusty, swamped car? I feel t whose who are upset thinking, that ship has sailed, what do I do? What is the price you are paying in your life by not giving up on similar belief patterns? If you could give up, what would be different in your life? What are the common characteristics of the problems in your life and the people with whom you have these problems?

One day, a client came to a coaching session with such an interesting matter of faith that I couldn’t hide my surprise.

“Mr. Elibol, after what I have experienced recently, I went to see a clairvoyant. If you remove the people and situations in your past that upset you, hurt you, renew yourself radically, you can start a sharing relationship where the balance of giving and receiving is equal, where you are valued as you value, you are loved as much as you love, you get attention as much as you care; you can be balanced in every way, financially and morally, you can have a very solid and long-term relationship with loyalty and strong foundations that can go as far as starting a family.

“You have been hurt to the extreme,” she said, “stop crying, reset the past and make room for novelty.” While there’s life there’s hope, I said, maybe my current relationship will get better. She said that some time with an 11, he will come to you with regret, but you will be stuck between two people. I am very indecisive, which one will I choose, will I be happy?”

I wanted to assume it was a camera prank, but with my professional identity, I tried to understand the situation with my seriousness, and I’m glad I didn’t laugh because my client was serious with a very strong belief in her anxiety. Fortunately, at the end of the session, she was able to determine the action steps towards the point she wanted to reach in her living space, which she decided from a place where she could clarify the facts for her life, and that would make her happy.

To this day, I will share sections from the expressions of many different clients that reveal their belief patterns in coaching sessions, as well as their renewed decisions and discourses within coaching sessions. I hope to enable you to observe and become aware of yourself with questions.

“…I always regretted my steps such as taking an unexperienced path, diving into a subject that I am not a master of, and whenever I took risks. I don’t want to dream about him and then get hurt again…“

“…As if my financial problems and responsibilities weren’t enough, the fact that I was having problems in my relationship tired me out. I now give up apprenticeship in all my relationships. I need a strong start. Now I am awake, enlightened, and I want to fix everything I have been through in my life. Right when I will say ah, everything is fine, everything starts going wrong. I cannot stand the mobbing I have been exposed to at work anymore. If I quit, I will lose and I always lose…”

“…it’s time for me to go… I trust myself, I don’t need to be so sad, I don’t want to be in such sadness anymore… I don’t want to dwell in bad moments with melancholic feelings… I want to get out of this situation I am in. While waiting for the right time, I postpone myself again with time passing by. I can never carry out my plans…”

Right here, I would like to remind you of a saying of Buddha; “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you...” Whether it’s your family, the job that you’re unhappy with, the relationship you want to end, or friendships that you can no longer continue, let these three things matter to you.

“I am questioning whether I really know him. He put many masks on me, my soul cannot hear, there are many things in the background. How he cheated me, the lies that have come out, the deceptions, the doubts that annoy me… I cannot give up, but I cannot go on either…”

What are the unexpected surprises that life brings you in the goals that you plan?

How has these surprises changed your life?

How do you react to unexpected situations?

What dreams have you ever given up?

What prevented you from achieving your dreams?

Words that spilled out of my clients

“…I am ready to put up a fight, but I had a sudden awakening about the part of putting up a fight, starting something, coming out of my hiding place and expressing myself, defending my own limitlessness, the things that were expected of me but that I did not fulfill. My thoughts are also precious, when you act like this, I think like this, when you act like that, you make me think like that, so I decided to express myself because I get defensive…”

“…I need liberation. I don’t want to argue with you, but that’s why we are arguing and I’m forced to it. Stop limiting me by constantly directing me, stop telling me that we will be happy no matter what you do, I will no longer stay within the rules, the boundaries you set, I will not restrict what I want to say, and bottle away. I will convey my thoughts freely and I will not regret it; if necessary, I will stand in front of you and pass on my feelings, my thoughts, how they make me feel. You may find yourself in situations that you did not expect when I am expressing these to you, and this may cause a setback between us, it’s okay, but I will not hold anything in anymore…”

 “…I will shake off everything that makes me unhappy, sleepless, restless, and unhealthy, so I will start a revolution in my thoughts. For once, put yourself in my place, understand how I feel, and think like me, just once. You may experience situations where you say I never knew you thought like that…”

“…Now get rid of the past that affects you, you can let go of these influences and make a fresh start. Okay, now I am clear, I have seen what I need to do, now I don’t have troubles in my thoughts and nightmares in my sleep. I want to renew in a process where I will feel happy to express my feelings, to experience the purity of love, to experience innocence. I want to compromise, talk, put an end to arguments, leave problems behind, take a step towards solving things, see the strength in my thoughts and feelings. Of course, planning and trying to be planned in life is very valuable. It’s so nice to act together with someone different than you…”

In your relations, make sure that you do not take the other person’s burdens, especially when you say, now I understand that’s why he/ she acts like this, do not shoulder the burdens of others to make yourself feel worthy. Become aware of your own self-worth. In this respect, it will be heavy for you to take these burdens on your shoulders.

Your partner can express things to you, I want to be together, but I also have responsibilities on my shoulders, I have a problem that I want to explain to you, he/ she can say, there are challenges in my life, he can tell you about his plans and troubles, and you can take his burden, feelings on yourself because of what they mentioned; but don’t do this for yourself. Don’t do this to yourself just because he will be the last man in your life. You can be very happy starting new with someone else, flirting, and sharing very nice things, even from scratch.

Of course, you can also be very happy alone, in your own essence. In order not to be burdened when trying to understand someone, I attach great importance to the development of active listening skills in my coaching training on empathic listening without empathy. In such cases, you should be careful not to take responsibility and emotional burden in any communication model that you are dealing with. Focusing your efforts on making the relationship happier in communication will lead you to a solution.

Please coach yourself and ask questions. What mystery that is holding you back? What are the situations you are hiding? What are your realities that you don’t want others to know? Personal issues, some secrets, what are the situations that prevent you from making a clear decision? What are the past issues that you are stuck with? What are the situations where you cannot act independently from external factors and cannot decide for yourself? What is that need for freedom deep in your heart?

“As a woman, I want to love the person who comes into my life as they deserve, to live and express my feelings and love abundantly. From now on I want to love someone and show my love for them. I want to be in love with them. I want to be united with passion, desire, and longing, but even though there is much more than that in me, I want to show it as he deserves, in a fair and balanced way. Even though I love him, I don’t want to be unfair to myself. I want to learn to be a little more careful. I want to give as much love as I get…”

The sincerity of emotions is important, as is the presence of emotions. What do you understand by investing in emotions?

Overcoming challenges

Overcoming challenges, fighting against obstacles, ending these problems, getting out of situations, taking decisions into action, insisting on justice, and continuing with steps that will strengthen and support…

When you move the mountains, it’s important not to hurt the flower. It is necessary to take note of the sensitivity of not hurting and not getting hurt.  While taking on someone’s responsibility or task, it is very important to consider the possibility of the person doing it him/ herself.

We can show understanding, compassion, and tolerance, but we should not do what he should. Think of it like your child being given homework at school, but if you are doing it for him instead. It’s important to be careful about these issues. It is very important for us not to make the mistake of postponing our own life by taking all of their burdens when we think of helping someone.

Give yourself time to understand and clarify before taking action with sudden decisions. You can act with great exuberance and start putting yourself in a victim mindset by asking, what am I doing. Those who say “if you laugh too much you will have to cry later” why would you cry? What if your high emotional energy creates happiness for you…

Please consider; realize how the belief patterns created by the experiences you have had for years or the experiences you have bought from your environment are ingrained in your subconscious and dominate your life. See how it sabotages your motivated dreams, decisions, and actions.

Understand how do the areas of your life that you are not happy to live make you feel. Be sure to watch my youtube videos where I talk about how to get rid of the past and things that decrease your motivation.

Previous article, “Coaching Questions”

What does happiness mean to you in professional life?

Are you satisfied with the life you are living?

What is going well in your life?

Does the life you are living look like the one you dreamed of?

What makes you always feel stuck in the same vicious circle?

What is missing for you to be happy?

How to stay calm in a storm?

How does the idea of radically changing your relationship with yourself and life sound to you?

The Desire for Change

Despite your inner desire to create change, you may not know exactly what changes you want to create. However, during the pandemic period, during the period of time spent in quarantine, many of you dreamed a lot. You have had plenty of time to think about your own needs and dreams.

You have dressed more comfortably, you have had the opportunity to re-experience yourself, leaving social expectations, the requirements of your work-life behind. You have redecorated your houses, discovered your new hobbies, given yourself the freedom to ask questions. Many of you have received the training you have been procrastinating; some have discovered your brand-new abilities. Not only did you do research by turning to new income-generating activities; there have also been people who provided extra income for themselves.

There have been those of you that question what you want to learn, what you want from life, what you need to create for a better quality of life. Some of you have changed a lot in a fairly positive way as a result of the pandemic. Your mind has become clearer than before, and you have thought about people whom you don’t want to spend time with, what you enjoy doing or not. You have discovered new abilities that exist within you.

Afterward, you have had a hard time as to how you could integrate this new state into your old life, which was, although partially, normalized.

I know they are trying to put you in a box, especially in professional life, from the way you dress to the words that come out of your mouth. You have business lives that you do not accept in YOUR SELF, but continue with the pursuit of safety. Your lives that are unavoidably your comfort zone, and that you cannot break away…

In fact, the structure of the life you are living should be flexible and malleable. Everything is constantly changing in the system you are in. In the system you live in, time flows constantly. I see that you want to render your entire life predictable, under your control. I also know that, in your coaching sessions, you will be happy to discover more insight than you have ever imagined. Because at its root, our basic needs in all our living spaces are the same.

I’M ME, YOU’RE YOU…

You will be happy once you create your own criteria, your own existence, your own reality, and once you change in this direction. Here, the fact that you need to change is not what needs to happen, but it is what needs to happen for you. However, skepticism about change will force us and will not move us forward.

You need to create the framework for what works best for you in the basic principle. Get out of your current way of being and realize the power of your energy. Remember that you will always be one and only, solitary in your own way. Nothing in life is in vain, don’t think of it like running on the treadmill. It is possible to transform by providing benefit and feeling safe. It’s important not to be stagnant, but not to be hasty, as well.

You may feel compelled to make a choice, you may even want to leave a place and go away. In some cases, you can take the feeling of constriction that you have experienced in your personal life but have ignored, to your professional life, and you may not be able to sleep with thoughts of resigning from your workplace, moving to a company different from where you are, changing your department or starting a new business.

Life is a whole! This is the main reason for working with the wheel of life tool in coaching sessions. In your life, where you are at the center, all that exists in your inner world affects your living spaces and everything that transforms inside with orientation, it also manifests itself outside.

Are you, who is not happy in your professional life, happy in your inner space?

In the session that continues after this question, you may be confused as you evaluate your options and you may ask which way should I go, which door should I open. But in this case, let’s take the presence of the feeling of being stuck and leaving a place.

Although life is a mystery and magic in itself, it has miracles in its own way. In the long run, we need good planning, structuring, and a coherent order. What enables us to develop a more fundamental belief and confidence for all of us, is the state of awareness in the moment.

Because it allows us to look at all possible future processes in a multidimensional way and to see our choices through detailed research. Remember the animated television series, Inspector Gadget? Although the inspector was a clumsy, distracted person, unaware of his surroundings, he made it easier to catch criminals with useful devices coming out from various parts of his body.

I am not sure if this character, one of my childhood heroes, is a human or a robot still, but that’s not the point. I think for a moment the child in me got carried away singing the series’ song. Someone with the competence of the coaching profession, regardless of who they are, is like Gadget during the session.

What are you trying to keep safe? What is your main focus?

Coaching sessions allow you to engage in an awareness process. It searches the contents of your feelings, thoughts, words, like a detective, and presents the hidden areas by providing you feedback with questions. It takes you on an inner journey of awareness from yourself, to yourself again.

It brings out what is inside of you. The coach allows you to see aspects of yourself that you may or may not know exist, but that haven’t surfaced yet. In a situation where you do not know where you belong, there may be hesitations about leaving or not leaving the area you are working in, and in order to be free on the way to your dreams, you may have issues that you need to take steps to break away or not.

And when you reveal your inner potential and discover yourself, your soul may want to change direction. Instead of moving forward alone, tired, you may want to establish new bonds. You may feel tired between the ideas you are conscious of and that are stuck in your mind.

“Thank you to my coach, who introduced me to myself and brought me together” is the sentence that is most often heard from our clients after the session.

In your opinion, what kind of a person who does not want rules to be set up, has a lot of trouble for this reason, but also does not want to cause problems, and wants to be successful in everything he handles, makes happiness possible in his business life?

How can someone who is a problem solver and enjoys being so make happiness possible for him/ herself in a professional field?

If a person acts more impulsively, thinks with the influence of his passions, has imaginative approaches; adopts these, or likes to use his feelings, what kind of department he will work in makes happiness possible for him/ herself?

For someone who is in a state of not being able to progress due to his fears or in a state of self-sabotage; the coaching session allows him to identify his real fears, get rid of them; know who he is as he is, and move forward. For someone who is worried about whether they can do it or not with suspicion and doubts; the coaching session allows them to examine the points that engage them in these feelings, investigate and clarify the uncertainties.

“What should I do, I accepted the rule that everything is not always ready when you want it, I realized what I could do and saw that I could take action as I dreamed and set goals.”

What a lovely and powerful response, isn’t it? At first glance, maybe yes, but look again. THE RULE???

When do you feel bad where you work?

“I feel like I am out of my self in my company’s system, I want to feel accomplished in my career, I know that I can no longer get the promotion I deserve. I have opportunities in other brands, better opportunities, and projects where I can reveal my potential to earn more money.“

Here are the feelings of the client hidden under the word RULE in the coaching session…

For example, the sentence with similar derivatives, “The weight on my heart is lifted…” is the moment when a client starts again. I wanted to remind you of a post I recently shared on my social media, “some doors are only opened from within, such as happiness, peace… I wish all doors to be opened to peace and happiness…“

Believe in your dreams and protect your vision. Freshen up, breathe a little, remember that your dreams only need a workable plan. When you are promoted to a higher level of commitment with yourself, you will get the promotion you deserve in your values on the wheel of life and in your career life.

When you fulfill the promises you make to yourself and change your beliefs about not keeping them, you will be able to carry out the plan you have designed to achieve your vision more easily. I believe that it is possible for those who adopt the attitude of SAYING THEIR GOODBYES, can say goodbye to themselves from a higher perspective.

Here and now, it is possible to say goodbye to your past self, that is to yourself, to move forward with coaching towards the “new best you”. Do not distance yourself from your dreams and vision.

“…the actions are not enough and they are too small! I am aware of my own worth and I am free from my addiction to this relationship. Now I know I deserve more. I want to live more enthusiastically, but I cannot wake that enthusiasm in me.

I walk away, my feelings go away, and as I walk away, I realize that I am not offended by him as I used to be. Now I just see myself laughing at tragic situations. Now my efforts are insignificant too, I am just going and these tiny steps are not enough for me.

That’s why my heart moves away, but there are many question marks in my heart; I wonder, is he the one? Unfortunately, I even pushed this question aside. He listened to the opinions and thoughts of others a lot, and ultimately, they were more important to him. He let us fall apart. We were each other’s world, but he couldn’t realize it. I find him too rational, after everything that’s happened, the one question inside my head keeps me in the relationship; was he the right person?

Did I l fall in love with the wrong person or the right person?

I don’t know if I should give up or be patient. In order not to regret my decision, I will observe and reconsider the things that keep persisting in the process. If there were heart-to-heart conversations, if we could talk about everything clearly, if the sincerest feelings could be communicated, if the verbal expressions were different, maybe the results would be different. Now I want to stay in the background, I think I fell in love with his stance in my heart because the stance of the man I fell in love with does not exist in our relationship…”

What do you think is the field of the profession of a problem-solving person in business life?

There is a blank canvas in front of you, it’s up to you how you want to paint it. What is on that canvas, that situation that is of beauty beyond your imagination?

How would it be if it was possible to change the life you are in the background with a brand-new opportunity that can be managed with wisdom?

 How can you create a life that you are at the center of?

How does a person who has elevated himself to the position he deserves and has been documented progress?

If you could find a four-leaf clover, in what area of your life would you wish it brought you luck?

Happiness, Unity, Integrity…

Happiness is the ability to collect happy moments. You can put an end to the times you feel scattered and shattered. It is very important that you know the processes well and understand your own path. Understand that you exist with pure potential and see well into yourself.

If you reconsider the definitions you use to define yourself to yourself and others; you will also observe that you may be wrong in your sentences that start with “I am like this, I am like that.” Some opportunities may appeal to people, but be sure not to be deceived.

A topic in an area that looks like an opportunity may not serve your way. If you cannot identify with the roles you have in your business life, if you are hesitant about whether you are in a role that appeals to your essence, don’t overlook it, go to its roots and become aware of it. Leave it to time right when you notice it, but be the one to plan the process of that time.

What is the source of your hesitation?
The best way to be free from victim mentality is to know that you have a victim mentality.
What are the roles in your life where you need self-confidence and trust?
How does a misty, hazy weather become clear?
A person who has overcome his/ her ego has won the greatest battle.

“… those who can’t do love justice … it’s okay if doesn’t work out, maybe a greater happiness awaits me on the road, who knows…“

To be a detective in life, in your life, to your life! Always remember the cartoon Detective Inspector Gadget!

“…with all my innocence, I feel unprotected, what happened scared me, I am not sure anymore, I want to stop the time, I need to think. I want to be free from this sad process.”

What have you noticed during this session?

“… in this situation, I could not end and I could not get out of, I realize that I have entered into the comfort zone.”

What do you like and dislike about yourself?

What do you want to change in this life?

What do you want?

What would make you happier, more peaceful, and more loving?

A person who grasps the future with a free mind and has a strategy always succeeds. Acting in the most accurate way with information will carry you to the most permanent and fastest success. All goals are possible once you realize that the mind is creating its own truth. Just as there are people with whom you are in competition or in conflict with, there are always people from whom you can get support in this life.

How do you feel right now?

How do you feel right now?

“… I feel like I yelled and I yelled, now my voice got hoarse from yelling. My throat aches… I am so tired of the chaos in the company.  My heart is on fire… It’s like thousands of swords are on my back… I cannot stand it anymore and I pulled away, I have worn myself out, I have reached a point where I am going to waste myself, I didn’t know how to be someone who set their own limits…” If you were the word detective in these sentences, based on what would you create questions? Please write to me privately the strong questions you have created based on this paragraph.

Here and now, you may not be where you need to be and where you imagined you would be, but first, accept it calmly and stop judging, questioning.

Leave yourself and your life alone and smile… maybe not now, and if it does not work out, let yourself go. Forget about what should have happened for a while now and love the point you have come to, love yourself, love living, love life, plants, animals, living things, love the sky, the sun, the rain, the clouds.

Leave all those questions in your mind unanswered for a while and calm down… Breathe and let go, let it go. Allow the flow of your coaching session to re-direct your life by listening to your body and inner voice.

How do you protect the purest happiness in you?

How can you overcome stagnation in your life with this pure happiness?

Believe that you will leave all the negativity and negative people behind when you start doing the best for yourself. Coaching will allow you to see everything differently and take a course.

The last point reached with the client was; “It seems like water is coming out of the well that I thought was the most impossible…”

A solution can be the solution to many things. It is like for someone who cannot reveal himself, who cannot use his potential 100%, who is always left half-finished, who always leaves half-finished and is only half-living to say that he died and was born again. Sometimes one small step can change the course of a person’s life, but you will never know what you can do if you don’t try.

Trust yourself! Today is the day! The future starts today!

YOU CAN DO IT! BRAVELY TAKE THAT STEP! SEE IT THROUGH TO THE END!

I AM WITH YOU AS YOUR MENTOR!

Previous article, “What Is the Season of Life?”

In his novel “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, Jules VERNE, one of the most influential writers of his era, says;

“THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN TWO HEARTS EXTENDS SPRING BY A CENTURY.”

Before I move on to my blog post for today, I’d like you to watch my YouTube video “what do you need to achieve your dreams?“, if you haven’t watched it yet.

It is very important to trust the transformation and believe in change taking place in the big picture on the way to the life you dream of living. Believe in this beginning and completion in your heart of hearts.

In this post, I will talk about my coachee, who started the session by saying, “I feel lost.”, you will be able to make conscious inferences according to the situations in your own relationships where the communication is blocked and where you need to speak unmasked and honestly.

There was a sentence that my coachee never uttered, said inwardly, to his girlfriend, to his family, to business partnerships, to all the people around him, but first to himself;

“Illuminate the hidden light inside you again, your heart knows the truth…”

Many people are afraid of starting over, but it should not be forgotten that you are not starting from scratch. By leaving the past that limits you in your relationships, you start over with experiences that will sensibly provide you with strength in your progress. At some point in their lives, many people make spiritual promises to themselves through the deep heartache and drama they have experience internally.

Remember your sentences that begin with ‘never again’. Which of these sentences are keeping you from moving forward in your existing relationships today?
What is the effect of these sentences in terms of what you wish to experience but cannot?
With your mother, father, siblings, children, spouse, lover, friends, colleagues, work environment, and even with yourself…

Each individual will carry the season he lives in to all areas of life, to the past, present, and future. Individuals who can realize their awareness will sustain their spring at all times.

For an individual who is possessive of his relationships, it is possible to do what is necessary, to do his part, to reflect love with care and understanding, to be able to give and receive what is expected, despite ………, against the justified ‘despites’ of the past, it is possible for him to be a pioneer. It is possible for him to experience summer in every season.

If he still confuses you with his words in the communications in his relationships, if he creates uncertainties and insecurity with his behaviors, if he leaves you on the alert wondering if he is going to leave, quit or give up at any moment, if he turns into a cold person as soon as you leave him, if he starts to have threatening dialogues with you under the pretext of sentences starting with excessive care and love, if he makes excuses not to take responsibility for the words he said when he was with you, if you witness similar dialogues and situations with others, if he criticizes you and your physical features to change them as he wishes, if you witness that he criticizes others in this way saying it is for their own good, if a person is always trying to keep the attention on him by being nice to you, what do you think is the season that that person hides behind what he shows?

In thousands of sessions, I have seen how stingy people can be sometimes with their feelings, even people who are generous in all other areas, like the meaning of my last name. Backing away from sharing by suppressing one’s feelings has, to start with, hurts him/ her with the severity of the pressure created by constraints. Because only once when the final limit is reached, an explosion occurs. Waiting for the right time, especially in uncertainties, will always tire out everyone involved.

Let’s continue with the sections from the coaching session that my coachee and I had.

 “…the turmoil I am experiencing inside me is driving me into depression, I don’t know how to get out of here. I have hope, if I present my feelings, I know that good things are waiting for me, but the issues I am struggling with have really worn me out and I am very depressed. There are people who put blocks on my plans for the future, and they play all kinds of games with me.”

 What are these future plans?

 “I know what I want very clearly; I am determined now that I know no bounds, I want to get out of these situations of conflict. My girlfriend also knows this now, and she no longer has tolerance for me, because some issues are just not bearable for her anymore. She wants me to take a proper emotional step towards her, she wants us to talk to each other, but the things I am struggling with right now prevent me from going to her. There are a lot of things that I contemplate, but my realizations about the future made me more determined. I must be able to show my efforts in reality.”

I am not quite sure, what is your plan for the future?

“I want to get stronger. I want to get out of situations where I am desperate, make decisions and take steps to overcome the obstacles that may come my way.

 What are these steps?

“I am aware of how precious she is, I want to approach her the way she deserves. I have some fears and I want to take steps to eliminate the unease that causes my desperation. I want to win all these wars, triumph and cherish her the way she deserves to be cherished; then I will tell her everything she expects to know. I know she is waiting for this but I have to put an end to the situations I am struggling with, I am trying to get my life straight.

What are these struggles you have?

 who put the blocks in front of me, in my plans. I am at a dead-end with situations that I have to sustain because of others. In order for me to step into novelty, I must first obtain victories. I know her heart is broken and she is waiting for me to make a move. It always seems as if I am going to her with excuses, but I am trying really hard. I made a mistake in the beginning by starting. I know her inside out.

In order to protect my free spirit, I had said that I would do whatever I wanted using my intellect to manage my communication with her, that I would manage this relationship without any limitation of structure, but she realized this. Everything was easy at first as she unraveled her emotional world and personality. When I told her not to control me, she realized that I was controlling and manipulating her in the relationship. She figured out the things I was doing to deceive her and was able to manage the emotions that triggered her emotionally. In fact, I can even say that it was you who caused it. My girlfriend follows your posts.” he said, and our session was livened up for a while with our laughter.

And do you really love this person?

“I may not be able to show her my feelings the way she wants, but my feelings for her have intensified over time like never before in my life. Sometimes even I cannot make sense of my admiration and love towards her. But as I said, there are some situations in my life that I have to put an end to, and I want to tell her about her responsibility on my shoulders. There is nothing I cannot do for her and us, and I took on these responsibilities because I made plans with her. I also have the potential to overcome these responsibilities, but first I have to remove the obstacles. I prayed for this, I made wishes, only there are other things in my life that she does not know about.”

Do you love her?

Yes, I love her, I feel her absence a lot, I think a lot, but I have heavy burdens and financial problems. I think about everything a lot, if I have a chance, I will carry this relationship to a whole other level and celebrate. I am trying to seize that opportunity, but I am not okay. I cannot take big steps, I cannot give her what she deserves, I cannot sleep at night like her. I know exactly what I want, but I don’t know how to do it.

What would you like to say to her if she was here, in my place right now?

“I really want to call you, I really want to make you happy. I really want to take concrete steps for you, you are so beautiful and so precious. I admire you but I don’t know if I am enough for you in my current situation that puts me in a dilemma, you shine so brightly, you are so clear and so determined… But I have also been working on something. There are some situations I am counting on, I have experienced many disappointments in my life, you do not know about them.  You think everything is going well for me. All my plans were turned upside down when I was so eager and passionate as well, and I couldn’t make a move, but I know exactly what I want now. I have dreams about you and us, and I know that luck will be on my side; all the processes will be over, and I will fix everything. Because I cannot see ahead of me right now, you think I am not doing anything. I have my hands tied, and I am tying your hands too, but believe me, I am aware of everything. I know you think I am deceiving you now, but there is something I have been waiting for, I would say.”

What are you waiting for?

“I am waiting for the opportunity to prove myself to her, to show her how strong I am and how I can turn a new page, give her what she deserves. I expect to triumph and attain power in situations where I am entitled. First of all, I need to prove myself, and then I will be ready to show how I take care of my relationship, I am ambitious.”

What is it that you are ambitious about?

“Against those with whom I have experienced difficulties and money-related issues in my life! I cannot take a step without solving these problems, I am in love with her, but I cannot call on the strength to fix her broken heart right now, because I cannot trust myself. “

And what do you think your girlfriend should do?

“I want her to understand why I am not stable and struggling, I want you her to understand that I am really in a hard period material-wise. I know I am causing her to experience loss in the spiritual sense; I cannot take emotional steps, I left her miserable, but I want her to know that I will come back. I am lighting my way now. She should wait for me, we will be much happier. If she waits for me, I will fix all the situations I have put her through. I miss her so much. I have made all my plans. When I look back, I have a lot of regrets and a lot of anger towards myself, I caused a lot of things, they happened because of me. I have to break things down so I can be with her, and I am determined to do that. I know how loving she is, but I was helpless and I apologize to her.”

What do you think you should do according to your girlfriend?

“I cannot understand what she wants me to do, after what happened she is no longer clear in the way she acts. It’s just that she’s not as tolerant as she used to be, she’s on her guard against me, but she never leaves my mind. Even though I know it made her withdraw, it hurts me so much to see her like this, but I am hopeful that I will fix everything, even if I am stuck in the past, I will make room for the new, I will open that door.”

Would you like to tell her that?

“I can’t, I can’t overcome my ego, I need to be alone, I need some more time. I will love, live and make sure she lives too, as we should. I love her like I love myself…” he continued, and after we progressed a little further, we were at a very, very different point later in the session.

In the midst of the desert heat, a man who walks in the desert without digging a water well and is thirsty reaches an oasis, but cannot quaff the water… Do we really love ourselves? How do we love ourselves? What does the value of love mean to us? Does this expression belong to us? How do we show our love? Does it really belong to us how we show our love? Please watch the short practice videos about values I have prepared for you on YouTube.

“In one of our talks, they say ‘you cannot really touch a heart that you cannot kiss from its wounds’, what do you think, she asked me. Then we started arguing and she finally told me that I was not right, but that she was too tired to continue the subject anymore, and at that moment I realized that I was losing her. I recently read that it said: no matter what her mind tells her, her feelings will tell her the truth. I hope she understands me.”

What wears you out the most with people you are in a relationship with?

“When their words and actions are not the same… I have seen and experienced this since I was a child. “I can”s don’t make sense anymore, let them do and show it! Actually, everyone I know is already fighting their own battles…”

What have you noticed during this coaching session?

“For the first time in this relationship, I woke up from my blind faith created by my root beliefs! Not everyone is the same, eventually, it’s me who makes it all the same.  In my relationship with my family, my friends, my business circle, my friends, in almost all my relationships… I thought of a quote from Rumi that said; “your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

At the end of the performance coaching session filled with strong questions based on transactional analysis and gestalt theory, in a single session;

My coachee persuaded to bring his precious oasis insulated from desert conditions, rare and desired by everyone, formed by rare water and plants in that desert to the session, and for us, the process continued as relationship coaching. For them, it is now summer all year round!

Come on, let’s find and remove these barriers within you, as well.

Previous article, “Undertaking”

The two most important points to be aware of on the way to the goal are power and control.

• How much aware are you of these two areas that will determine the quality of your action steps in your planning?
• What exactly is your motivation that will keep you on track?
• What does the goal you have project onto you?
• What do you project onto your goal?

Short-term goals and plans, action decisions of long-term goals and plans, and time management of action steps in the process are subjects that need to be analyzed differently.

What kind of experience have you had so far?

You were created for more, and what you will create will be for much more. Even if it doesn’t seem like it yet, rest assured that you are on the right track. All you need to know and practice is QUALITY in your actions!

The right goals, the right planning, the right timing, and the right actions will lift you straight to your vision. Your clarifications about the “right” enable you to use your productivity effectively, provide process control, enjoy the process, and achieve the highest quality of success in the final result.

QUALITY CREATES QUALITY!

As long as your action efficiency is of good quality, your time schedule, strength, energy and motivation will also be well-controlled. All this combination brings you success. Whatever has happened so far, the worst is behind us. It is possible to have more than you imagine. There is no limit to the possibilities of making it so. Thought leads to emotion, emotion to attitude, attitude to actions, and actions to results.

Decisive belief patterns formed in the mental space will directly affect your quality of action. What we care about in coaching in this direction, is to enable you to come to the awareness of your strengths and reveal the strong use of power.

When you separate yourself from the fears, anxieties, and thoughts that hinder your progress, you will see that YOU have the power of control that shapes both your goal and the way to these goals. You will see that YOU have the power of control, unaware of which you cannot aim for your goals with the same root perspective and shape the way to them. CONTROL is always present in you even if you are not aware of it, only its direction is different, and this point is the point of awareness that we call “Here and Now“, that is, REALITY.

“The path of change after transformation…”

You here and now, whole and complete, aware and powerful; you can make the right decision for yourself and shape your action steps. This new state enables you to understand whether the point where we formed your configuration plan and that you want to reach is actually a real goal.

You have a “Main Vision goal” and “Intermediate goals” where you plan the path towards the former. Your action steps are for both your intermediate goals and your vision goal. It is the awareness of internal and external factors that determines the quality of action of every step you take. Your internal factors will emerge from your analysis of power, and your external factors from your analysis of control. Your “Quality of Action” is not overexertion, but the effort made at the critical moments, in the right place, at the right time.

• What strengths do you see in yourself?
• What are your strengths that others see in you?
• What are you doing well?
• What can you do better?
• What is it that others do better than you?
• What are the issues that you receive negative feedback most frequently?
• What are the subjects that you feel inadequate?
• What developments are taking place in your environment regarding your main vision goal?
• What are the opportunities around you that will facilitate your goals?
• How do you access these opportunities?
• What external factors hinder you on the way to your goal?
• What external factors may hinder you on the way to your goal?
• What would they be?
• Which aspects of you leave you more vulnerable to risks?

Now, after all that you have read so far and the questions you have answered, please ask yourself a decision question right now. Is what you really need changing your Vision goal or is it updating the path to your goal again?

This is the trap many of you fall into in your self-talk. This is the subject of a Coaching Session. Performance coaching is the transition from your unreal reality to your real reality. For this transition and the awareness of the need for this transition, everyone should experience performance coaching at least once.

At your present current point, be sure that you haven’t lost anything. Everyone can take as much time as they need. In time, this time they have taken for themselves will come to an end and you may find yourself reading this blog post. The greatest gift of these renewed plans to you is to set out to your vision goal with your liberated will of understanding. We can call the way that is constantly changing according to your thoughts and feelings virtual reality. How do you think this situation will project onto the road?

I am with you on this today. Imagine my voice in your ear and my one hand always on your shoulder. Together, we are looking at a path towards that vision goal that you have dreamed of. Yes, maybe I am not actually with you right now, but I sincerely ask you to have me as a guest with you. To begin with, let’s lift the curtain on this covered road. Please tell me what’s going on here right now.

• What should happen for the curtain covering this road to lift?
• Which sentence would be you hearing to lift this curtain?
• What kind of wind blows this curtain?
• What is your reality in the new perception?
• What are you creating for this path right now?
• What kind of path would you want this path that you want to configure to be?
• Know that what you believe can change everything! What image do you want to project?
• What is your projection from yourself to you again, as we watch your life?
• What should be the creation steps that will create this projection?

Please open the CONFIGURATION PLAN on page 386 in our book, FUTURE STARTS TODAY and fill in the practice pages that get you writing and analyzing.

Creation begins with thought! The road begins with your view of life and the way you create your life accordingly!

Let the future start today with our book, let the road begin now. It’s a long road… Full of opportunities, obstacles, crossings, bridges, full of your companions, your leaders, supporters, guides… Sometimes fast, sometimes slow… There are also those who come to end of the road right away, and those who take their time… But if you want to reach the end of the road and the desired destination, use your energy and power with quality in your own integrity.

Step by step forward! First experience the emotion and then create your reality!

Previous article, “Executive Coaching”

“Do you know who you are not?”

Please write down on a piece of paper the question of solution, which brings you closer to concepts of self-recognition, self-knowledge, and self-discovery that I have mentioned many times in my blog posts, but will provide you with a completely different direction.

At the end of this blog post you will now read, I hope that you can solve an issue that you are having difficulty with, or that you need to solve right now. Come on, as I mention in my book, let the future start today!

My coachee who has deep issues with her parents, issues of insecurity, broken trust, collapsed beliefs, unfair treatments, repeated destruction of the decisions taken, the need to balance, the elimination of wrongdoings, the situations waiting to be compensated said, “I tried my best but it didn’t work out, he didn’t give me a place in his life, I am leaving. I struggled a lot, now I question the details.”

However, apart from verbal discourses, all communicative discourses also indicated that she was holding on to the expected good news and a hidden hope of the justice to come. “Doesn’t he love me as much as I love him, can’t he break out of his career ambitions?” said her great cries of silence…

Past problems, making serious decisions, ending passivity, getting clear on issues with grey areas and making choices, creating a potential that can turn new pages for oneself by considering the issues from different angles, without forcing the conditions, without haste, without making sudden decisions, are among the topics in the coaching sessions; but this one was quite different. Celebrating and offering presents to life, being a person of value and feeling valued, valuing and making others feel valued as well, a celebration that comes after life experiences that require time and process!

Sometimes everything seems hopeless, like changing the past completely. Similar cycles may have to come to an end, there may be internal conflicts taking place inside individuals, there may be situations that by force need to end with frustrations, eventually, decisions may always need to be made, there may be issues such as understanding someone with passive introversion conditions,… etc.

Many things can happen, that’s life; but out of all these processes, one can come out very strong. Don’t make yourself believe in despair! Don’t be an extra in other people’s dreams! You are the lead in your life story!

Past betrayals, lies told to you, continuous procrastination, continually getting postponed, renunciations, misbehaviors, words that should never have been said, guilt, injustice, regret, disbelief, fears, emotional worries, abuse, emotional neglect, circumstances surrounding you, the reasoning of conscience, patience, hopes, courage, choices, struggles, protecting, spiritual violence, psychological violence, … Yes, you have experienced them all, yes, you have been put through all, and yes, you have made others go through them all as well, so can you tell me now, how can your life proceed?!

Aren’t you tired of great vortices that make relationships unhealthy, lead to dead-ends in communication, that begin with avoidance of taking steps towards conclusion and completion, away from being truthful, that do not progress with clear lines, with people that, in fact, have different intentions, who do not open their hearts to you, show you what is in their hearts differently, disrupt that beautiful harmony between, ignoring the beauties between, restricting, hindering, testing you with lack of communication, who do not complete the work that they started, …etc. aren’t you tired of swimming in waters with people you have been through so much, to places where you don’t know the way, you don’t know the end, you don’t know how to wear your heart on your sleeve, you don’t know who you are, you don’t know the depth…

How many more times are you going to struggle in panic to not drown in a water that is way over your head, aren’t you tired of it… You may not go back to those days, but the alarm is ringing, hear it, please.

TRANSITION FROM ILLUSION TO REALITY…

CLARIFICATION FROM SUPERFICIALITY INTO DEPTH…

IT’S TIME TO START FRESH…THE ALARM GOES OFF, IT’S TIME, IT’S TIME TO STEP UP, WE ARE GOING TO GO A LONG WAY!

In order to be free from getting offended quickly, getting bored quickly, childish actions, and put things in order, we will first consolidate. “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.” Hit the road, and smile!

How did you get there by showing little of your potential and using so little of it… In what kind of relationship could you be happy acting cool, keeping your distance, staying away, using strategies to keep the attention on…
Life rolled the dice, he said let the game begin, but what happened in those risky uncertainties…
Distrust, heartbreak, fears moving forward, who has not experienced them in their life story…
Some actions make sense when they are done on time, you are right, but they did not happen and they were never done.

While happiness would be mutual if it was done in the past, now you are afraid of getting caught up again and you turn a blind eye to your feelings. Well, aren’t you tired of staying in the mystery where you suppress the things you feel, without giving up the hesitations of the past that you think you keep you safe, without giving a permanent relationship trust? Come on, ask that question you asked yourself again, which you thought was not heard in yourself; why am I in these relationships, when I just wanted to feel good about myself… It didn’t happen, did it?

Our happiness should never be tied to and dependent on what others do or don’t do, what they say or don’t say. Every season, trees change their leaves, not their roots. Something I recently shared on my youtube channel, which requires focus;

VALUES! YOUR VALUES! ARE YOUR VALUES REALLY YOURS?

It’s important that you watch my Youtube video at this stage.

In a session with a coachee, the reality he realized he was in when he was talking about his relationship was; I couldn’t be happy with my mechanical thoughts and mechanical heart.

How can a person who argues even with his own heart, is always success-oriented, wants to protect himself constantly, wants to stay rational, does not want to be defeated by his heart, is afraid of his feelings but cannot stand them any longer, get out of the state of unhappiness and apathy he is in?

How can a person who feels weak, who always comes off as cold, hides, hides his true feelings, establish healthy communication with the person or people he is in a relationship with?

What do you think someone who always has the desire to share, who wants to balance emotions, is tired of questioning himself, and needs constant effort from those around him and who is judgmental, angry, resentful, depressed, broken without the attention he expects, a person who has risen, learned, and has come to a crossroads, answers to the question, what do I need to learn from the thing I am going through, that he directs to his haughty and sad state? Where does his answer take him?

Deep down, you know the answer, what you feel is true…

I asked another of my coachees with a similar story; what is the direction you will move forward, and what is the path in that direction? He stopped and thought for a long time, asked for water, played with his glass of water, gazed off, drank water again, waited. I waited calmly until he answered, because at that moment, he was at the intersection of his mind, four directions in front of him, each of them a road, but which one…

A true inner liberation begins when we come to show compassion for ourselves in the moods we find ourselves in. A hidden area of obstacle that we create for ourselves is constantly striving to develop strategies. Deciding how to use your intelligence is the subject of another session. Think about it, an intelligence that has darkened one’s heart, that works cunningly…

Facing the self within yourself! Staying in lack as you do not do what needs to be done while trying to find the way… Getting rid of the part of you that finds an excuse and has an answer for everything… Our values, character, personality are much more valuable than the adjectives we carry, our titles, and our life roles. Know that you deserve to enjoy life, to experience happiness that is real and lasting, and that you deserve the best of everything you can have in life.

I want to share a very good quote from Shams Tabrizi at this point, “no one loses anyone, the one who leaves finds someone else, the one who stays finds himself…”

How is a direction analysis done? 
How do we find our direction without frozen emotions, stalling anyone, stalling ourselves?

Unless you see yourself as adequate instead of inadequate and you realize your self-values, unless you understand that you are already whole and complete, you cannot balance and find your direction by creating the conditions associated with it in your life. You are already perfect just the way you are, and you can call this into being in all areas of your life.

At that moment, the roads that you think are closed will already be opening in your favor. It is possible for everyone who is aware of their self-worth, who has high self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem, to live a life in which they will be satisfied in every way, materially and morally, and where all limitations are removed. In my book THE FUTURE STARTS TODAY, I wrote about how to make this possible, how to coach yourself in detail, I asked questions and shared practical applications.  Be prepared to take in happiness!

In one of my sessions, it was very pleasant when my coachee described the point she reached in the flow of coaching, “Flying and dancing with happiness on the Ferris wheel at the top of a rainbow…” It was a great AHA! moment of being free of the feeling of lack and reaching fulfillment. It is possible for all of us to come out of chaos through reason and wisdom.

“Do you know who you are not?” I had asked, and I asked this to my coachee as well. She tried to distance herself from the person she was not with the answers she gave in the session.

“I choose to go my own way and walk away, I don’t know where the road takes me, but I am tired. I will get on a ship and intend to leave, and we will see where the road leads me. I don’t want to make calculations, I don’t want to force or be forced, I want to stay in observation, I want this process to come to an end, I want to be silent. Coaching really is a conversation with oneself.”

What do you want, what don’t you want?

What changes, what doesn’t?

Where would you like the road to take you?

A state of self-knowledge, self-discovery, and self-recognition allows you to make decisions at the points you are enlightened. It allows you to set goals, and when you commit to those goals, set your time, and promise yourself, they cease to be just intentions and dreams. Thousands of my coachees, countless students and mentees have experienced the miracle of making commitment and giving an undertaking in their own processes.

DECIDING! MAKING A FINAL DECISION!

My coachee, who leaves the glass of water on the table, answers the question;

“I have arrived at an intersection, I am at a four-way intersection, and I have to make a start. The end of the road is peace, a journey to my own self, different paths, detours, a new direction, a new life, and my path leads to peace. I will choose not the four paths that are offered in front of me in my own sacred path, but the secret path that I have created myself. Sometimes, people run away from the things they want to live, even if they really want them… “

“…I can’t, I have fears. Carrying a sense of self, breaking the shells, moving away from the old me, leaving the old and celebrating the new me…”

“… broken in pieces in the past, I want to pull myself out of this vortex. I must forgive… myself! “

“… the only place to go, the last place to go… I have to take the wheel with my decision, I will make my own decisions with my own will! “

“… I want to heal my emotional wounds, get away from those who continued doing the same things to me, knowing I was hurt. I have to make moves. I will notice my own bad habits and change them.”

“… whoever whatever I had postponed, saying that this situation, person is not urgent, collapsed on top of my head. At the heart of all the issues I buried myself in work, I had fears, and now I understand that I left them all uncertain and hanging in the air.”

“… it was pointless to try to fix the old, it was easier to build the new in its place. I will observe impartially…”

WHAT CAN’T YOU MAKE HAPPEN; WHAT CAN YOU MAKE HAPPEN?

WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?

WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO EXPERIENCE?

WHAT MAKES THAT POSSIBLE?

WHAT’S THE WAY TO OVERCOME FEAR?

WHAT WILL MAKE YOU MOVE FORWARD?

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

WHO SHOULD YOU BE FOR ALL THIS?

WHAT IS YOUR COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF?

You are the great miracle that will start the future today, and I am with you!

Now write and sign your own undertaking to the decision you have made with the answers you gave on a blank piece of paper!

I will be with you on the path you choose, and at the end of that path you will reach!

Previous article, “Bridge of Success”

Bridge of Communication with Transactional Analysis!

Bridge of Successful Relationships!

Although at first glance these propositional phrases provide foreseeable ideas, the thing I want to share with you in this post is their much deeper meanings. As Rumi said; “O heart, every rope that breaks is tied up if desired, but in the place where it is tied, the knot remains. Know your past well, so that you can get your feet on the ground in the future. Don’t forget where you came from, so you won’t be surprised where you are going.”

Where did you come from, where will you go?
Have you really understood everything?

IT’S TIME TO MAKE PEACE WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES!

THE END OF CONFLICTS, THE TRANSITION TO HAPPINESS!

In all relationships of our lives, a person wants to get his/ her point across, be understood, and feel that he/ she is being understood. As I have stated in many of my posts I have written so far along with my spoken discourses, “CHANGE YOUR STORY, CHANGE YOUR LIFE!“ The game-changing point in the sentence is individual sensitivity to expression, that is, successful communication.

What is your story?
How do you tell your story?
What are your magnet stories with people in your relationships?

It’s not always what you do, it’s how you do it that makes the difference. Can you apply the care you put in the things you do with love to your communication? Through the teachings of Transactional Analysis communication theory, which I consider mandatory to be in the groundwork of the Coaching performance session, I will tell you how to make a difference, and that it can be possible with communication mastery by mentoring with sessions and dialogue sections.

In coaching, the past is always considered an experience, the goal is to be here and now, then with the clarity and power in hand, the future is projected, the decision is made, and the first action step is taken. 

But at the point where we are the coachee in the coaching session, we also need to put an end to old issues to make room for the new ones in our lives. Since the old ones are a set of emotions, beliefs, and knowledge of awareness; they can sometimes come from extremely deep layers as we move towards the dream we want to reach, and none of us want that. The basic need in coaching is to reach the truth, the coach always seeks the truth.

Awareness is an “AHA !” seeker. Here, the teachings of Gestalt Theory are impeccable. This reality and clarity will free us from the old and the past. What we will leave behind, emotions that turn into an addiction, our habits, our false belief patterns, the thoughts that drag us to inertia, and every situation that we cannot determine the limits of…

We cannot move forward with faulty logic, thoughts, and perspectives that have expired. Although it is difficult to break out of habits, we need to prepare for the new one and take action for ourselves. In a sense, it is like breathing out in an ocean where we are drowning and creating a different momentum in an instant, taking a fresh, renewed deep breath with plenty of oxygen and filling with life again.

Changing perspective with a strong“ AHA!” moment and developing a new thinking approach are quite easy depending on the success of the coach with the coaching session. However, it is not easy for the coachee to break the routine, and sometimes it is not easy to break the routines that do not even belong to us, and this means re-existence. After all, isn’t the process of human existence a story of spiritual, mental, and physical development?

We can achieve real goals by renewing our mental attitude. No matter how similar the events we experience are, the attitude and behavior in our approach to them should be different. We are responsible for every word that comes out of our mouths and every action. With our awareness of novelty, we can spread our wings, build solid bridges, and move from end to end with joy and happiness.

In our session, which started with my coachee expressing that he was unsuccessful in all her relationships with his family, work environment, social friends, children, spouse, and himself, I asked my coachee to describe the feeling of failure. “…I cannot break my chains, I am in a garden with an open door, stuck in situations governed by my mind, I cannot move.” He said.

In the awareness he experienced with the Gestalt and TA theories and the communication bridge he established with himself, he said, “…the calculations, books, analytical intelligence, tactics won’t do, I have to listen to the voice of my heart, find my way and continue…“

Neruda says; “when good people they are offended, they are withdrawn and the outsiders looking in think they are know-it-alls.” A quote from Dostoevsky; “people resort to their prejudices when they cannot figure you out.” Tolstoy said: “the life you always complain about, perhaps, it is someone else’s dream.”

Oscar Wilde said; “the thing that wears people out the most is their good intentions.”

A quote that summarizes from Oslo; “do not break the wings of someone who is fluttering about for you, the day will come you will need that angel…“

I heard it in a TV show; “everybody is aware of everything and nobody did anything by mistake.”

The words of a writer that I cannot remember now; “If people are not told their faults, they will think their faults are a merit.”

William Shakespeare said, “Talk frankly, because the right people like clarity.”

Well famous philosopher, how would you describe the state of communication in your relationships that came to a dead-end?

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