Make a Choice, Change the Future!
Rescuer Behavior!
The source of happiness is the ability to accept different points of view. The sophistication of a mind is related to seeing the unacceptable as acceptable. And the mystery of your life is hidden in the choices you make. It is possible to change the future. All you have to do is make a choice that will initiate change in your life. Now, let’s make a choice that will change your future, together.
The right choices…
Please turn to page 82 in my book The Future Starts Today and do the exercise without delay after reading the session sample in the relevant section. Please share with me the benefits that doing this brings you.
Even if you are successful in your life, you may still have unhappiness and wrong choices. You may have unwittingly imagined yourself in the wrong places, perhaps with the wrong people. Before you dream of wrong things again, you can change your future with your values by analyzing yourself accurately and making the right choices.
At your current point, what drives you to make these choices? What feeling is growing inside you as you answer this question? Describe this feeling a little. Where do you feel this feeling in your body? If this feeling wasn’t there, what decision would you want to make? How will this decision affect your life?
The way to be accepted is to live the life of your choice!
- If the choices you made were not your own, who made your choices?
- What is the attitude of the people around you towards that person?
- What would their attitude be towards you who makes their own choices?
- How does it feel to be able to make this decision?
- What makes you confident in your decision?
- What would you like to do with this awareness so far?
- What do you need to know what to do?
To know how to do that, first list your strengths. See how you feel as you make your list. Then create a new life plan with your choice that will change your future. At this point, rate yourself in this plan that you will do.
If you were to rate on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself?
What does being a 10 mean to you?
What kind of future do you, who is a 10, have?
Now close your eyes and imagine 5 years from now. From 2022, we are in 2027. See how you are there and please tell me.
How did this make you feel? Now rate yourself again with the plan of this new choice. Find out what really makes you think here. What can you do to facilitate your choice plan in your decision?…
Realize that you are always at the center of your life. When you return to yourself, remember that your feelings, thoughts, and judgments determine your position and then the relationships you establish with others throughout your life. This is your life and you are free to make the choice that will change your future.
“In 2022 …………… I need to know.” Make a list where you say “I need to know these”. See that this is a list that prepares you for the future version of you in 2027, and smile.
When you open yourself up to endless possibilities, you will notice how unacceptable choices turn into acceptable ones.
A brand-new beginning!
It would be scary for many to let go of the old. They would feel pretty stuck. Cold, quiet, and isolating… This is essentially just another version of the necessity to be protected from emotional consequences. Sometimes the answer we give to a question determines this state.
What do you think of when you are watching the snowfall?
That each snowflake is unique, or that you will have to clean it with a shovel?
One area of particular attention in psychology analysis is rescuer behavior because the choices made are based on the drive to protect oneself or another. There are many ways to transform the three existential roles of the victim, persecutor, and rescuer into healthier behavior patterns. A child who has doubts about his own ability to perform many actions declares the mother, who is sad and protective, to be his rescuer.
A mother who tries to protect her child defines herself as a rescuer. Even this most general example indicates that we are projecting all our living spaces and making choices with these fundamentally established consciousnesses. This pattern is a self-reinforcing cycle. The combination of Transactional Analysis Theory and Coaching approach provides a magnificent transformation on ego states and behavioral effects in coaching sessions. The choices of a healthy individual are, then, healthy for himself and his environment.
“How beautifully the snowflakes show. That it is possible to move forward without hurting one another…”
Like snowflakes, life teaches us that it does not have a rewind button; it shows us to live in the present no matter what, to look ahead and go our own way. It teaches that when things go wrong, you can accept them and move on.
It also teaches that everything we plan can change shape, that every shape can be different from the other; it teaches us to say “I am glad it happened that way”, or it can even teach us that the melting snowflake can change form and continue its journey as water. Being a good observer will undoubtedly make you realize a lot. Like your coach who enables you to do towards yourself in coaching sessions…
What is waiting for you today? The answers you are waiting for come from you. You don’t always have to know everything, but don’t give up on your dreams. When you stop putting this pressure on yourself, you will continue to believe in yourself. Dream, clear your doubts and plan with purpose. Make sure you are not moving forward as the old you. Be brave enough to break those roles. Always focus on how you can succeed. Now, there is a new you! Now consider; What does this new you want to tell you?
The transition from Rescuer to Cardinal behavior…
I am sure the economists or those involved in finance are smiling right now. One of the analyzes developed for consumer balance analysis in microeconomics is cardinal utility theory. It is built on three assumptions: total utility, marginal utility, and diminishing marginal utility.
In summary, this theory, which is based on the assumption that the benefit is measurable, has not been used as it was stated to potentially cause problems in practice. So, where does the unacceptable become acceptable? Let’s assume that we apply this point of view to life, not the economy. The sophistication of a mind…
When we look at the total utility obtained from the experiences gained over a period of time, it is the realization, that is, the reset, of the change in the total utility as a result of each additional experience that will bring the person to the point of satisfaction in his life. When the balance of experiences in life is achieved in consciousness, you become the person who aims to get the best out of life with what you have.
All you have to do is make a choice to initiate change in your life. Make a choice that changes your future now, and know that I am with you.
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