Coaching for Self-Knowledge and Self-Awareness: What is the ELB Method?
Throughout my 25+ years of coaching, I have experienced time and time again that coaching is a remarkable thing. I have always enjoyed sharing what I have filtered from my experiences and learnings with my clients, the coaches I have trained, and my mentees.
The “MCC Fatih Elibol ecole” we talk of today feeds on this experience and knowledge, and together with all my mentees who move forward with me, we bring the healing power of coaching to people. And today, these coaches are coming together in Turkey under the roof of the Future Starts Today Association.
We call the methodology of this ecole “the ELB method”.
The acronym ELB stands for “Enriching Life Bonds”. It refers to “enriching and strengthening the bonds of life”. In other words, our method is called “Coaching method to enrich and strengthen life bonds” or simply the ELB method.
People who dare to look at themselves with the ELB method can easily recognize themselves – their needs, motives, desires, fears and self-created obstacles – and enrich their connection with life in a way that empowers them to live better and happier lives through the effective coaching techniques applied in the method.
Coaching for Self-Knowledge and Self-Awareness
The ELB method emphasizes two different aspects of a single coaching process: Self-knowledge and self-awareness.
Self-awareness involves self-love.
The person who loves him/ herself can tap into his/ her full potential and move forward, always forward… Eastern philosophy preaches self-love.
Self-knowledge, on the other hand, is more associated with Western philosophy. We know this idea through Socrates. However, the West considers self-love to be selfishness. For he who loves him/ herself is actually free. But the world doesn’t want that.
The East preaches self-love, but this alone is not enough. Because the world you live in, the potential you experience, keeps you from loving yourself.
That is why I advise people to first accept and love themselves as they are, to know and accept themselves as they are. Then, I argue, they will also come to know their true self.
If you see and accept yourself as you are, if you love yourself as you are, you will get to know yourself and realize your true potential.
People who live in confines, however, will unfortunately never discover their true potential. Because to recognize this, you need to be free.
One can finally break the chains and live the life one truly chooses to live.
Self-awareness and self-knowledge are like two different sides of the same coin, they complement each other. You cannot have one without the other.
Understanding the similarities and differences of these two aspects and creating a fulfilling life by truly knowing and being yourself is fairly easy when you are walking on a safe path. But the concept of a “safe path” is very important here, because the whole process is actually driven by psychological states and concepts, and it is of critical importance that this process is safe.
Coaching is a good approach to walk this path, and it is also a safe process when guided by the right coaches.
How is the ELB Method Applied?
The ELB method is applied in 4 steps.
Pre-Interview
Before proceeding with the steps, it is important to make sure that the coach and the client are and/or will be compatible with each other. Therefore, we conduct a pre-interview before applying the ELB method.
This interview provides an understanding of the parties’ personalities, attitudes and behaviors, their approach to events and whether they can get along, and aims to secure the whole process with a mutual agreement.
The pre-interview lasts 15 minutes and harnesses the power of Transactional Analysis. The coach understands the client’s motivations in life, how they behave in the communication process and the source of their behavior. In addition, through this short interview, he/she also gains insight into the client’s point of view.
In addition, the coach’s knowledge of NLP offers him/her the opportunity to understand how the client experiences the world; is he/she visual, auditory or tactile? This ensures coordination between the two partners in the process.
Coaching in 4 Steps
After the pre-interview, the first coaching interview is scheduled and the coach meets with the client. Thus begins the 4-step process of the ELB method.
- Step: What is there today?
In the first meeting, the coach understands what the client wants to talk about that day. He or she then clarifies the issue and understands the client’s current situation, i.e. what he or she is feeling, what he or she is thinking, what he or she is curious about, or what issues he or she is navigating.
Here it is very important to listen carefully, without judgment all the while staying in the moment, and to give effective feedback. It is also necessary to refrain from using negative words and phrases.
- Step: What do you want?
The next step is to work out what the client needs in order to leave the session feeling a sense of inner peace, happiness and fulfillment.
This section helps to identify important beliefs and values in the client’s life. It also provides an opportunity to clarify who they want to be and what kind of life they want to live.
Here, some visualization techniques are employed, such as having the client engage in the use of metaphors alongside powerful questions. These techniques enable you to get to the result quickly.
- Step: What do you need?
Moving to step three, the coach has two very important pieces of data: what is the current situation and where they would want to go. These pieces of data make the difference between the current situation and the desired destination perfectly clear. Thus, in the third step, it is discussed what is needed for the client to be the person they want to be when they leave the room, to bridge the gap.
During the interview, the client has the opportunity to see his/her own self as it is. Seeing the difference and the missing parts often brings out strong emotions in the client. Through conscious interventions of the coach, the client’s motivation is maintained and the actual needs are realistically identified.
- Step: What is your action plan?
Identifying needs is not enough, so we move on to step four: what are the actions that need to be taken?
At this stage, all the items of the action plan are identified step by step. The goals are then clarified as SMART. The most important thing is that the client remains committed to the goals and action plan.
The interview is concluded with the summary of the current situation, steps, to-dos and commitments. Making commitments is important for both the coach and the client. Commitments bring strength and motivation to the client’s process of self-reflection after the session. Thus, the client leaves the room happy, motivated and with a sense of peace. They also feel that they know what to do when they are on their own.
5 tips to overcome the challenges encountered when implementing the ELB method
The method works more effectively with coaches who have faith that they can make progress with their clients. And faith comes from experience. Therefore, the challenges that coaches may encounter need to be recognized and overcome.
There are a number of things coaches can do to better implement this method.
1- Clear your mind before the session
A good ELB coach should start meeting with his/her clients with a clear mind. He must leave “him and his ego” out of the room. He/she should prepare him/herself to be the inner voice of the client.
2- Get rid of prejudices
Every client should be accepted solely as a human being, regardless of gender, religion, race or nationality. As prejudices prevent effective listening and feedback.
3- Review the session
After each session, the ELB coach should review the session, go over the questions he/she asked and the answers he/she received, and think about the different situations that might have arisen if he/she had asked the question in a different way. It is more useful to have this post-session review in writing.
4- Make observations
An ELB coach needs to observe as many situations as possible. Seeing life as a kind of laboratory where he/ she will observe and understand socioeconomic environments and human behavior is crucial for success in his/her work.
5- Be your own coach
Coaching must be embodied in coaches. Therefore, a good ELB coach must first be his/her own coach, use coaching skills in difficult situations in his/her life, live in the here and now and develop strong communication skills in order to establish healthy relationships.
A better world with ELB
The ELB method is an effective way of enjoying your own existence. “Self knowledge and self-awareness” bring new perspectives to the lives of both coaches and clients. And thankfully, both teach us to live in a positive way, with a focus on solutions, not problems.
With over 25 years of experience, I am very happy to share the ELB method that I have filtered through my experience with you and my mentees. As ELB coaches, we believe that we can change the world with our desire to see coaching embodied in more and more people, leading us to a better world.