Transactional Analysis Nowadays
With the recently raising consciousness, the concept of the new world order that is on many people’s agendas, has unfortunately turned into torture. It is really sad to embark upon a time of change in your life but not yet experience the feeling of pleasure, not be able to manage time in your living spaces that needs renewal, be unable to clearly see the destination in reach, and to experience the changes that take place turn into torture.
However, establishing order and gaining power for its maintenance, require a personal focus. Having to comply with the accepted order, pretending to be satisfied and the struggle to break free from stereotypes is psychologically quite exhausting. However, there is a massive treasure hidden under this ruin among the collapse of the old and the construction of the new.
In social order and social planning, each of us has a role in life, and it is important for us to do whatever these roles require perfectly. We strive to make our roles sustainable and act with the knowledge we have, despite the concerns that cause us distress. Managing our lives, creating the beauty we deserve, managing our responsibilities, and accepting the past as it is for our inner peace are the keys of this process. But, it’s easier said than done.
Whether they belong to the past, present, or tomorrow, no emotion is something that just comes to an end. People close themselves off due to the emotions they cannot handle. Many of them do not want to go there when it comes to creating transformation and changing form in emotions; and for those who do wish to have authority in their life plan and make peace with their life experiences, it takes time.
Before describing the approach with Transactional Analysis, I would like to clearly advise you to, with the positive and negative experiences you have gained in your life, suspend the fixed ideas you have created with this state of emergency until the end of this article.
Because if you are reading this article, you are changing the address of those feelings. Instead of the mere expressions of feelings such as attention, compassion, love, value; until now, you have been living with your knowledge of their meanings.
You will make a start that will allow you to become acquainted with the emotions free from those stereotypes, are you ready?
What are the emotions that are on your agenda right now?
What are your feelings have you centered on your life?
What are your invisible bonds that bind you to life?
What emotions in your past did you make a ship out of, on your way to salvation?
Transactional Analysis, developed by Eric Berne, is a theory of personality, communication, and psychotherapy that is based on structural and functional ego states. It deals with the attitudes and behaviors of individuals in communication as a reflection of personality and is related to emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that change at any time.
The main point is that, if people can put the right ego state into action in their experiences, social lives and relationships, they can solve all their problems about themselves and others in a constructive way as well as providing a healthy communication flow in their daily activities in life positions.
Transactional Analysis is like opening a door to yourself. It examines the transfers experienced in relationship styles with or without the awareness of ego states in personality styles and their interactions in life positions.
These ego states are child, adult and parent. The needs, fears, emotions, preferences, decisions, values, beliefs, rules, and stereotypes are the subjects of these ego states.
It is a process that continues with adulthood, in which conflict between what reality is and what is taught is experienced in our basic areas of life starting with childhood, when the security of expressing emotions is established with the records and data obtained from life, determinations whether they are valid or invalid, as well as the evaluation of the data.
We are caught between our life positions and emotions, especially as a result of personal experiences and discoveries from the adult period. With the awareness that we discover in our own essence, we create new connections in all areas of our lives.
We desire to get rid of the emotional needs of the experiences we want to leave behind and take back our power. And when we become parents, things sometimes get more complicated. Being a parent here is not just about being a mother or father. As the areas of responsibility grow, the transition to the maturation phase accelerates with the growth that continues throughout life.
The need for nurturing care from childhood becomes much more different. Our energy, divided by our life roles, reaches a point where we are psychologically trapped, imprisoned in the mind and thoughts with a narrow perspective, and eventually become closed off. Even if deep down we want to solve the emotional state we are experiencing in this process, we are unable to fully understand it.
We strive to examine a situation, to be meticulous, establish reasoning on what should and should not be. The attachments, addictions, disappointments, heartbreaks, habits from the past have a profound effect on our behavior and the way we communicate. As these feelings become stronger in unmet emotional needs such as compassion, love, affectionate attitudes, the ego selves that come forward uncontrollably follow.
Before establishing a new life order, bringing order to the chaos within you, where your essence also belongs, is the most fundamental area that will take you to the destination you want to reach. As the viruses that sink you into despair clear up, you will know what to do already.
All crisis periods of life, such as feeling restless, feeling wronged, not seeing the value you deserve, and being lethargic are times when there are mismatches, pressures, and disagreements in communication.
We can easily observe the interpretation of the dialogues based on the examples of many basic issues such as dependence on mother, father, or family regardless of age, clarification of information obtained from generational differences, feelings that are unable to be dealt with, areas where the sense of taking responsibility does not develop in adulthood and the need for care persists, self-awareness, questioning and growing up.
The awareness from the observations in partner relationships, relations with parents, social environment, attitude and behaviors displayed in communication with people of authority in business life summarize the situation. Treating one’s spouse as if they were his/ her mother or father, telling one’s colleagues what to do in a critical parental attitude, approaching one’s friends in a judgmental, sarcastic, and condescending attitude, or exhibiting constantly whining and resentful behavior in an unwanted situation are examples of ego states.
The belief patterns that are perceived in the face of behaviors and discourses and are formed in response to root emotions, such as “nobody loves me, I will not want anything again, or if I cry, he will take care of me” are some of the examples.
The adult state, which reveals the logical side of our personality, has the necessary information to deal with the outside world. He/ she knows the mere expression of emotions, is able to break free from instilled stereotypes, has authority in his/ her life plan, manages his/ her life, progresses skillfully in terms of communication, is conscious and mature enough to transform his/ her feelings, is aware of his/ her responsibilities, is not fixed-minded; he/ she can create multiple perspectives, is open to change, knows that his/ her actions are responsible, has proved his/ her knowledge with his/ her experiences and is now in his/ her maturity phase.
At any given moment, even in established communication, all these ego-states we mention can be experienced. Transactions, functional and structural analyses, and transfers eliminate mismatch in communication.
It prevents the occurrence of crisis periods in our lives. It rearranges relationships that have become chaos. It provides a powerful order at the core of the concept called the art of communication. It allows you to connect with life again through healthy emotions as well as establishing a life at the center of these emotions.
All emotions such as love, respect, attention, compassion, value, trust, protection re-exist at the right address they belong to. Your thoughts and perceptions change. You gain a lot of self-confidence in the way you communicate in all areas of life.
Built on healthy relationships, you start a new life you are genuinely happy to live, and not one you live as if you are.