Courage
“The Meaning of Family in Polyphony”
The Big Tournament Begins!
What is the true meaning of family to you?
Thanks to one of my dear clients, I decided to discuss a topic that has never been talked about before. If you don’t take people where they want to go, you cannot expect them to walk a path with you again. We expect leaders to take us wherever we want, but the problem starts when they don’t. Things are not going well, but the leaders still expect us to walk the path with them. That’s when these people turn into something other than leaders, that is, politicians…
Not politics, but Leadership!
I would like to add a beautiful excerpt to my post and share it with you so that you can consider it in relation to your own themes.
WHO IS SHAKING THE JAR?
Go catch 100 red fire ants from the desert. Then, from another soil, take 100 little black ants and place them all in a jar. Nothing will happen at first, and a friendly environment will start to form.
Then take the jar in your hands and violently shake it before putting it back in place. The ants in the jar will suddenly begin fighting and killing each other. You will see the ants descending into chaos.
The red ants will think that the black ants are the ones who caused the chaos, while the black ants will believe that the red ants are to blame.
The true cause of the chaos, however, is in our hands…
As we can see from this beautiful excerpt, whatever you are going through right now, please ask yourself: WHO IS SHAKING THE JAR? Because realizing who you are is the first step toward finding a solution.
Now think about a present you were happy to receive.
- What was that present?
- What made you so happy with that present?
- How was that present given to you?
- How did you get it?
- What happened after you received that present?
- Where is that present now?
- Consider the story behind the present.
As adults, we are required to learn how to open all presents in private. We have been taught to smile and act as if each present is the same, but our heart… Our heart knows the truth. But what if the truth causes people to be unhappy, disappointed, or hurt? Sometimes I wish we could go back to being that little kid. Who can truly express his/ her entire range of emotions… Perhaps life was simpler back then, but we are now adults. Realizing that hearts are complicated is a part of growing up…
Courage is contagious!
- Are you fair in your heart?
- How much do you care about the common good?
- Are you fair to yourself?
- Fairness, kindness…
According to Plato, the ideal of a government is the idea of the best place to be reached, which he defines as the “Philosopher King.” It is examined by Aristotle on three different bases according to Ancient Greek Philosophy. Tyranny; One-Man Rule (known as the Dark Ages); Oligarchy; minority rule; Democracy; majority rule. But do you think that a wrong can be considered right if a majority of votes is obtained under the majority rule?
Isolated at the top Connected at the bottom
Maybe these are facts we have never discussed before, but when people focus on our differences rather than our similarities, bad things happen. Those who dream of the same future, on the other hand, wish to build a future in which their differences are seen as a bridge of love rather than a barrier.
People who are committed to achieving a great goal for themselves and their lives are full of courage and strength. It is this that most fundamentally makes them so incomprehensibly distinct. They become one with all of the assets within them, and if they stand behind what they define as a family, and on top of that, if they are with them, no matter what they encounter, they always tackle challenges with courage, instill confidence, and find a way out.
My dear client’s words as I asked the questions;
“….I spent most of my life staring at the ground when I was afraid. I used to be terrified of taking the next step, but then something happened to me… Someone reminded me to look up. This was such a special moment… My family is always there for me, and I am always there for them. When it comes to my sister, I cherish her deeply. They are my life’s clearest, sharpest, most uncrossable lines. Mr. Fatih, I am not just talking about blood ties; these words apply to everyone I refer to as my family, whether they are my family or not. Everyone is replaceable at this point for me…“
People who talk like greeting cards
“…I realized that luck serves as a reminder that the world can be a beautiful place.” I needed courage, Mr. Fatih. Everything that was important to me was disappearing, including the rules and logic of everyday life. All I want to do now is to feel my heart beating again…“
Remember that life is full of surprises and gifts. Surprise gifts! Pretending is not Life! It’s crucial to be able to redefine what it means to live!
“Mr. Fatih, I have never been so afraid in my life because I pretended to be someone I wasn’t in order to become the person I wished I was… I couldn’t possibly be the person I was… Why was it so difficult for me to say that? Because I am aware that people are afraid of what is different. Admitting that I am different and refusing to act like someone I am not, being things I am not can socially cost me my career. I can, however, make my difference useful, but I never considered that. It was as if I was living on a fake movie set. I never imagined I would be able to do something so courageous one day. With our coaching sessions, you have helped me become a much better and braver man! No matter what it costs me, I know by heart that; it is worth doing this“
However, the day we started coaching sessions, it was on my mind like the first day…
“…is there any way out of here, Mr. Fatih, the rush of the trapped mouse to get to the cheese… I am stuck between what I want and what I cannot have. I realized that there is a big difference between living and surviving. Why has my entire life led me to a beach at the end of the day? Why do I also feel as though I don’t belong here at all? Whenever I get this feeling, it’s usually because I am terrified of something. Everyone understanding I am an impostor… Life is full of risks… This is not a career I am chasing, it’s my dream… But if your dream isn’t worth risking for, what is?””
After 40 years, a decision is made… A decision that has been delayed for 40 years… Life sometimes does not forgive being late. Even if you don’t understand how gravity works, you can feel it. Situations that affect everyone’s lives can happen outside of our control and perception. For instance, creativity is critical to a child’s development. Before you can create or achieve anything, you must first be able to imagine it. In factory settings, the greatest power we all have is the power of the creative mind.
“Where is my future?”
“…Every time I felt like I belonged somewhere and called it home, I had to leave…. I remembered crying in high school and telling my mother, “we lost mom” at the big tournament…“
How many games have you lost and cried over in your life, only to recommit yourself, see your determination, and know that the next time you would win, and you did? Please ask yourself. Emotions and feelings can overshadow our logic, and logic can also destroy the emotions that make life worthwhile. What will the feeling of revenge bring you? I share with you the words my client said with determination;
“There is no place for hate in my heart”
We all accept the same terms and conditions as life when we wake up in the morning; we will experience daily events through our habits, right? Some of these events will be positive, while others will be negative. It is more about how we deal with things than it is about what happens to us. Sometimes what we are going through feels terrible, sometimes it feels happy and exciting…
But the truth is, no matter how puzzling it may appear at times, it is always full of surprises… Even so, whatever you do, never give up on yourself. I would like everyone here to know that as your Mentor coach, I see you completely in your coaching sessions and I believe in you. There’s nothing we cannot accomplish as long as we are together!
COURAGE; what makes you brave?
Consider what you have read today and remember to be nice to yourself.