If there is Co-active coaching, NLP, Transactional Analysis, and Gestalt approach in the core competencies of the coaching sessions providing introversion and enlightenment, you will become a word detective in front of the client and you will be able to ask the most powerful and right questions. Come, as always, let’s observe the questions of the session example together that in reality takes place with a single person.
What does happiness mean to you in professional life?
Are you satisfied with the life you are living?
What is going well in your life?
Does the life you are living look like the one you dreamed of?
What makes you always feel stuck in the same vicious circle?
What is missing for you to be happy?
How to stay calm in a storm?
How does the idea of radically changing your relationship with yourself and life sound to you?
The Desire for Change
Despite your inner desire to create change, you may not know exactly what changes you want to create. However, during the pandemic period, during the period of time spent in quarantine, many of you dreamed a lot. You have had plenty of time to think about your own needs and dreams.
You have dressed more comfortably, you have had the opportunity to re-experience yourself, leaving social expectations, the requirements of your work-life behind. You have redecorated your houses, discovered your new hobbies, given yourself the freedom to ask questions. Many of you have received the training you have been procrastinating; some have discovered your brand-new abilities. Not only did you do research by turning to new income-generating activities; there have also been people who provided extra income for themselves.
There have been those of you that question what you want to learn, what you want from life, what you need to create for a better quality of life. Some of you have changed a lot in a fairly positive way as a result of the pandemic. Your mind has become clearer than before, and you have thought about people whom you don’t want to spend time with, what you enjoy doing or not. You have discovered new abilities that exist within you.
Afterward, you have had a hard time as to how you could integrate this new state into your old life, which was, although partially, normalized.
I know they are trying to put you in a box, especially in professional life, from the way you dress to the words that come out of your mouth. You have business lives that you do not accept in YOUR SELF, but continue with the pursuit of safety. Your lives that are unavoidably your comfort zone, and that you cannot break away…
In fact, the structure of the life you are living should be flexible and malleable. Everything is constantly changing in the system you are in. In the system you live in, time flows constantly. I see that you want to render your entire life predictable, under your control. I also know that, in your coaching sessions, you will be happy to discover more insight than you have ever imagined. Because at its root, our basic needs in all our living spaces are the same.
I’M ME, YOU’RE YOU…
You will be happy once you create your own criteria, your own existence, your own reality, and once you change in this direction. Here, the fact that you need to change is not what needs to happen, but it is what needs to happen for you. However, skepticism about change will force us and will not move us forward.
You need to create the framework for what works best for you in the basic principle. Get out of your current way of being and realize the power of your energy. Remember that you will always be one and only, solitary in your own way. Nothing in life is in vain, don’t think of it like running on the treadmill. It is possible to transform by providing benefit and feeling safe. It’s important not to be stagnant, but not to be hasty, as well.
You may feel compelled to make a choice, you may even want to leave a place and go away. In some cases, you can take the feeling of constriction that you have experienced in your personal life but have ignored, to your professional life, and you may not be able to sleep with thoughts of resigning from your workplace, moving to a company different from where you are, changing your department or starting a new business.
Life is a whole! This is the main reason for working with the wheel of life tool in coaching sessions. In your life, where you are at the center, all that exists in your inner world affects your living spaces and everything that transforms inside with orientation, it also manifests itself outside.
Are you, who is not happy in your professional life, happy in your inner space?
In the session that continues after this question, you may be confused as you evaluate your options and you may ask which way should I go, which door should I open. But in this case, let’s take the presence of the feeling of being stuck and leaving a place.
Although life is a mystery and magic in itself, it has miracles in its own way. In the long run, we need good planning, structuring, and a coherent order. What enables us to develop a more fundamental belief and confidence for all of us, is the state of awareness in the moment.
Because it allows us to look at all possible future processes in a multidimensional way and to see our choices through detailed research. Remember the animated television series, Inspector Gadget? Although the inspector was a clumsy, distracted person, unaware of his surroundings, he made it easier to catch criminals with useful devices coming out from various parts of his body.
I am not sure if this character, one of my childhood heroes, is a human or a robot still, but that’s not the point. I think for a moment the child in me got carried away singing the series’ song. Someone with the competence of the coaching profession, regardless of who they are, is like Gadget during the session.
What are you trying to keep safe? What is your main focus?
Coaching sessions allow you to engage in an awareness process. It searches the contents of your feelings, thoughts, words, like a detective, and presents the hidden areas by providing you feedback with questions. It takes you on an inner journey of awareness from yourself, to yourself again.
It brings out what is inside of you. The coach allows you to see aspects of yourself that you may or may not know exist, but that haven’t surfaced yet. In a situation where you do not know where you belong, there may be hesitations about leaving or not leaving the area you are working in, and in order to be free on the way to your dreams, you may have issues that you need to take steps to break away or not.
And when you reveal your inner potential and discover yourself, your soul may want to change direction. Instead of moving forward alone, tired, you may want to establish new bonds. You may feel tired between the ideas you are conscious of and that are stuck in your mind.
“Thank you to my coach, who introduced me to myself and brought me together” is the sentence that is most often heard from our clients after the session.
In your opinion, what kind of a person who does not want rules to be set up, has a lot of trouble for this reason, but also does not want to cause problems, and wants to be successful in everything he handles, makes happiness possible in his business life?
How can someone who is a problem solver and enjoys being so make happiness possible for him/ herself in a professional field?
If a person acts more impulsively, thinks with the influence of his passions, has imaginative approaches; adopts these, or likes to use his feelings, what kind of department he will work in makes happiness possible for him/ herself?
For someone who is in a state of not being able to progress due to his fears or in a state of self-sabotage; the coaching session allows him to identify his real fears, get rid of them; know who he is as he is, and move forward. For someone who is worried about whether they can do it or not with suspicion and doubts; the coaching session allows them to examine the points that engage them in these feelings, investigate and clarify the uncertainties.
“What should I do, I accepted the rule that everything is not always ready when you want it, I realized what I could do and saw that I could take action as I dreamed and set goals.”
What a lovely and powerful response, isn’t it? At first glance, maybe yes, but look again. THE RULE???
When do you feel bad where you work?
“I feel like I am out of my self in my company’s system, I want to feel accomplished in my career, I know that I can no longer get the promotion I deserve. I have opportunities in other brands, better opportunities, and projects where I can reveal my potential to earn more money.“
Here are the feelings of the client hidden under the word RULE in the coaching session…
For example, the sentence with similar derivatives, “The weight on my heart is lifted…” is the moment when a client starts again. I wanted to remind you of a post I recently shared on my social media, “some doors are only opened from within, such as happiness, peace… I wish all doors to be opened to peace and happiness…“
Believe in your dreams and protect your vision. Freshen up, breathe a little, remember that your dreams only need a workable plan. When you are promoted to a higher level of commitment with yourself, you will get the promotion you deserve in your values on the wheel of life and in your career life.
When you fulfill the promises you make to yourself and change your beliefs about not keeping them, you will be able to carry out the plan you have designed to achieve your vision more easily. I believe that it is possible for those who adopt the attitude of SAYING THEIR GOODBYES, can say goodbye to themselves from a higher perspective.
Here and now, it is possible to say goodbye to your past self, that is to yourself, to move forward with coaching towards the “new best you”. Do not distance yourself from your dreams and vision.
“…the actions are not enough and they are too small! I am aware of my own worth and I am free from my addiction to this relationship. Now I know I deserve more. I want to live more enthusiastically, but I cannot wake that enthusiasm in me.
I walk away, my feelings go away, and as I walk away, I realize that I am not offended by him as I used to be. Now I just see myself laughing at tragic situations. Now my efforts are insignificant too, I am just going and these tiny steps are not enough for me.
That’s why my heart moves away, but there are many question marks in my heart; I wonder, is he the one? Unfortunately, I even pushed this question aside. He listened to the opinions and thoughts of others a lot, and ultimately, they were more important to him. He let us fall apart. We were each other’s world, but he couldn’t realize it. I find him too rational, after everything that’s happened, the one question inside my head keeps me in the relationship; was he the right person?
Did I l fall in love with the wrong person or the right person?
I don’t know if I should give up or be patient. In order not to regret my decision, I will observe and reconsider the things that keep persisting in the process. If there were heart-to-heart conversations, if we could talk about everything clearly, if the sincerest feelings could be communicated, if the verbal expressions were different, maybe the results would be different. Now I want to stay in the background, I think I fell in love with his stance in my heart because the stance of the man I fell in love with does not exist in our relationship…”
What do you think is the field of the profession of a problem-solving person in business life?
There is a blank canvas in front of you, it’s up to you how you want to paint it. What is on that canvas, that situation that is of beauty beyond your imagination?
How would it be if it was possible to change the life you are in the background with a brand-new opportunity that can be managed with wisdom?
How can you create a life that you are at the center of?
How does a person who has elevated himself to the position he deserves and has been documented progress?
If you could find a four-leaf clover, in what area of your life would you wish it brought you luck?
Happiness, Unity, Integrity…
Happiness is the ability to collect happy moments. You can put an end to the times you feel scattered and shattered. It is very important that you know the processes well and understand your own path. Understand that you exist with pure potential and see well into yourself.
If you reconsider the definitions you use to define yourself to yourself and others; you will also observe that you may be wrong in your sentences that start with “I am like this, I am like that.” Some opportunities may appeal to people, but be sure not to be deceived.
A topic in an area that looks like an opportunity may not serve your way. If you cannot identify with the roles you have in your business life, if you are hesitant about whether you are in a role that appeals to your essence, don’t overlook it, go to its roots and become aware of it. Leave it to time right when you notice it, but be the one to plan the process of that time.
What is the source of your hesitation?
The best way to be free from victim mentality is to know that you have a victim mentality.
What are the roles in your life where you need self-confidence and trust?
How does a misty, hazy weather become clear?
A person who has overcome his/ her ego has won the greatest battle.
“… those who can’t do love justice … it’s okay if doesn’t work out, maybe a greater happiness awaits me on the road, who knows…“
To be a detective in life, in your life, to your life! Always remember the cartoon Detective Inspector Gadget!
“…with all my innocence, I feel unprotected, what happened scared me, I am not sure anymore, I want to stop the time, I need to think. I want to be free from this sad process.”
What have you noticed during this session?
“… in this situation, I could not end and I could not get out of, I realize that I have entered into the comfort zone.”
What do you like and dislike about yourself?
What do you want to change in this life?
What do you want?
What would make you happier, more peaceful, and more loving?
A person who grasps the future with a free mind and has a strategy always succeeds. Acting in the most accurate way with information will carry you to the most permanent and fastest success. All goals are possible once you realize that the mind is creating its own truth. Just as there are people with whom you are in competition or in conflict with, there are always people from whom you can get support in this life.
How do you feel right now?
How do you feel right now?
“… I feel like I yelled and I yelled, now my voice got hoarse from yelling. My throat aches… I am so tired of the chaos in the company. My heart is on fire… It’s like thousands of swords are on my back… I cannot stand it anymore and I pulled away, I have worn myself out, I have reached a point where I am going to waste myself, I didn’t know how to be someone who set their own limits…” If you were the word detective in these sentences, based on what would you create questions? Please write to me privately the strong questions you have created based on this paragraph.
Here and now, you may not be where you need to be and where you imagined you would be, but first, accept it calmly and stop judging, questioning.
Leave yourself and your life alone and smile… maybe not now, and if it does not work out, let yourself go. Forget about what should have happened for a while now and love the point you have come to, love yourself, love living, love life, plants, animals, living things, love the sky, the sun, the rain, the clouds.
Leave all those questions in your mind unanswered for a while and calm down… Breathe and let go, let it go. Allow the flow of your coaching session to re-direct your life by listening to your body and inner voice.
How do you protect the purest happiness in you?
How can you overcome stagnation in your life with this pure happiness?
Believe that you will leave all the negativity and negative people behind when you start doing the best for yourself. Coaching will allow you to see everything differently and take a course.
The last point reached with the client was; “It seems like water is coming out of the well that I thought was the most impossible…”
A solution can be the solution to many things. It is like for someone who cannot reveal himself, who cannot use his potential 100%, who is always left half-finished, who always leaves half-finished and is only half-living to say that he died and was born again. Sometimes one small step can change the course of a person’s life, but you will never know what you can do if you don’t try.
Trust yourself! Today is the day! The future starts today!
YOU CAN DO IT! BRAVELY TAKE THAT STEP! SEE IT THROUGH TO THE END!
I AM WITH YOU AS YOUR MENTOR!