Beliefs and Thoughts
Servants who obey past memories…
As soon as we are free from the past that we live in our own minds and that put ourselves through the experience of, we realize that the feelings of the past that we cannot change cannot affect the present.
Famous actor from India, Aamir Khan says; “Whatever the problem is, you must soothe your heart and say: “Everything is fine“. Because the heart is sensitive and believes in your words quickly.” With these words I saw on social media, I was reminded of the days I lived in India for a while. While laying the foundations of a more loving world with the coaching profession, after the session, I went back in time for a moment and wanted to write about the servant and ruler lives that have become beliefs in themselves.
“If you repeat it long enough, you subconsciously turn a thought into a belief.”
“What you believe, you live.”
“Beliefs are seeds planted in the soil of the mind.”
BELIEFS and THOUGHTS…
What are the beliefs that govern you and your life?
What beliefs do you have in your mind that don’t belong to you?
What are your assumptions that you accept as the reality?
How do you get rid of these beliefs that don’t belong to you?
If you didn’t have these beliefs, how would you think, how would you talk, and how would you move forward in life?
I mentioned these in great detail within the context of KNOWING YOUR MIND, which I discussed in a chapter in my book, The Future Starts Today. From the beginning, I wrote a book where you can start your own transformation by coaching yourself, and it has been my top priority that this book is not just a classic book that tells you what to do and gives you information. I have created special pages for you to ask questions and answer yourself. While reading this blog post, I want you to be able to ask yourself questions and coach yourself, as well.
How do you want to live the rest of your life?
What kind of people come into your life again and again? What kind of people do you want to a live with?
I hear people say, what can I do with a decayed, moldy, rusty, swamped car? I feel t whose who are upset thinking, that ship has sailed, what do I do? What is the price you are paying in your life by not giving up on similar belief patterns? If you could give up, what would be different in your life? What are the common characteristics of the problems in your life and the people with whom you have these problems?
One day, a client came to a coaching session with such an interesting matter of faith that I couldn’t hide my surprise.
“Mr. Elibol, after what I have experienced recently, I went to see a clairvoyant. If you remove the people and situations in your past that upset you, hurt you, renew yourself radically, you can start a sharing relationship where the balance of giving and receiving is equal, where you are valued as you value, you are loved as much as you love, you get attention as much as you care; you can be balanced in every way, financially and morally, you can have a very solid and long-term relationship with loyalty and strong foundations that can go as far as starting a family.
“You have been hurt to the extreme,” she said, “stop crying, reset the past and make room for novelty.” While there’s life there’s hope, I said, maybe my current relationship will get better. She said that some time with an 11, he will come to you with regret, but you will be stuck between two people. I am very indecisive, which one will I choose, will I be happy?”
I wanted to assume it was a camera prank, but with my professional identity, I tried to understand the situation with my seriousness, and I’m glad I didn’t laugh because my client was serious with a very strong belief in her anxiety. Fortunately, at the end of the session, she was able to determine the action steps towards the point she wanted to reach in her living space, which she decided from a place where she could clarify the facts for her life, and that would make her happy.
To this day, I will share sections from the expressions of many different clients that reveal their belief patterns in coaching sessions, as well as their renewed decisions and discourses within coaching sessions. I hope to enable you to observe and become aware of yourself with questions.
“…I always regretted my steps such as taking an unexperienced path, diving into a subject that I am not a master of, and whenever I took risks. I don’t want to dream about him and then get hurt again…“
“…As if my financial problems and responsibilities weren’t enough, the fact that I was having problems in my relationship tired me out. I now give up apprenticeship in all my relationships. I need a strong start. Now I am awake, enlightened, and I want to fix everything I have been through in my life. Right when I will say ah, everything is fine, everything starts going wrong. I cannot stand the mobbing I have been exposed to at work anymore. If I quit, I will lose and I always lose…”
“…it’s time for me to go… I trust myself, I don’t need to be so sad, I don’t want to be in such sadness anymore… I don’t want to dwell in bad moments with melancholic feelings… I want to get out of this situation I am in. While waiting for the right time, I postpone myself again with time passing by. I can never carry out my plans…”
Right here, I would like to remind you of a saying of Buddha; “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you...” Whether it’s your family, the job that you’re unhappy with, the relationship you want to end, or friendships that you can no longer continue, let these three things matter to you.
“I am questioning whether I really know him. He put many masks on me, my soul cannot hear, there are many things in the background. How he cheated me, the lies that have come out, the deceptions, the doubts that annoy me… I cannot give up, but I cannot go on either…”
What are the unexpected surprises that life brings you in the goals that you plan?
How has these surprises changed your life?
How do you react to unexpected situations?
What dreams have you ever given up?
What prevented you from achieving your dreams?
Words that spilled out of my clients
“…I am ready to put up a fight, but I had a sudden awakening about the part of putting up a fight, starting something, coming out of my hiding place and expressing myself, defending my own limitlessness, the things that were expected of me but that I did not fulfill. My thoughts are also precious, when you act like this, I think like this, when you act like that, you make me think like that, so I decided to express myself because I get defensive…”
“…I need liberation. I don’t want to argue with you, but that’s why we are arguing and I’m forced to it. Stop limiting me by constantly directing me, stop telling me that we will be happy no matter what you do, I will no longer stay within the rules, the boundaries you set, I will not restrict what I want to say, and bottle away. I will convey my thoughts freely and I will not regret it; if necessary, I will stand in front of you and pass on my feelings, my thoughts, how they make me feel. You may find yourself in situations that you did not expect when I am expressing these to you, and this may cause a setback between us, it’s okay, but I will not hold anything in anymore…”
“…I will shake off everything that makes me unhappy, sleepless, restless, and unhealthy, so I will start a revolution in my thoughts. For once, put yourself in my place, understand how I feel, and think like me, just once. You may experience situations where you say I never knew you thought like that…”
“…Now get rid of the past that affects you, you can let go of these influences and make a fresh start. Okay, now I am clear, I have seen what I need to do, now I don’t have troubles in my thoughts and nightmares in my sleep. I want to renew in a process where I will feel happy to express my feelings, to experience the purity of love, to experience innocence. I want to compromise, talk, put an end to arguments, leave problems behind, take a step towards solving things, see the strength in my thoughts and feelings. Of course, planning and trying to be planned in life is very valuable. It’s so nice to act together with someone different than you…”
In your relations, make sure that you do not take the other person’s burdens, especially when you say, now I understand that’s why he/ she acts like this, do not shoulder the burdens of others to make yourself feel worthy. Become aware of your own self-worth. In this respect, it will be heavy for you to take these burdens on your shoulders.
Your partner can express things to you, I want to be together, but I also have responsibilities on my shoulders, I have a problem that I want to explain to you, he/ she can say, there are challenges in my life, he can tell you about his plans and troubles, and you can take his burden, feelings on yourself because of what they mentioned; but don’t do this for yourself. Don’t do this to yourself just because he will be the last man in your life. You can be very happy starting new with someone else, flirting, and sharing very nice things, even from scratch.
Of course, you can also be very happy alone, in your own essence. In order not to be burdened when trying to understand someone, I attach great importance to the development of active listening skills in my coaching training on empathic listening without empathy. In such cases, you should be careful not to take responsibility and emotional burden in any communication model that you are dealing with. Focusing your efforts on making the relationship happier in communication will lead you to a solution.
Please coach yourself and ask questions. What mystery that is holding you back? What are the situations you are hiding? What are your realities that you don’t want others to know? Personal issues, some secrets, what are the situations that prevent you from making a clear decision? What are the past issues that you are stuck with? What are the situations where you cannot act independently from external factors and cannot decide for yourself? What is that need for freedom deep in your heart?
“As a woman, I want to love the person who comes into my life as they deserve, to live and express my feelings and love abundantly. From now on I want to love someone and show my love for them. I want to be in love with them. I want to be united with passion, desire, and longing, but even though there is much more than that in me, I want to show it as he deserves, in a fair and balanced way. Even though I love him, I don’t want to be unfair to myself. I want to learn to be a little more careful. I want to give as much love as I get…”
The sincerity of emotions is important, as is the presence of emotions. What do you understand by investing in emotions?
Overcoming challenges, fighting against obstacles, ending these problems, getting out of situations, taking decisions into action, insisting on justice, and continuing with steps that will strengthen and support…
When you move the mountains, it’s important not to hurt the flower. It is necessary to take note of the sensitivity of not hurting and not getting hurt. While taking on someone’s responsibility or task, it is very important to consider the possibility of the person doing it him/ herself.
We can show understanding, compassion, and tolerance, but we should not do what he should. Think of it like your child being given homework at school, but if you are doing it for him instead. It’s important to be careful about these issues. It is very important for us not to make the mistake of postponing our own life by taking all of their burdens when we think of helping someone.
Give yourself time to understand and clarify before taking action with sudden decisions. You can act with great exuberance and start putting yourself in a victim mindset by asking, what am I doing. Those who say “if you laugh too much you will have to cry later” why would you cry? What if your high emotional energy creates happiness for you…
Please consider; realize how the belief patterns created by the experiences you have had for years or the experiences you have bought from your environment are ingrained in your subconscious and dominate your life. See how it sabotages your motivated dreams, decisions, and actions.
Understand how do the areas of your life that you are not happy to live make you feel. Be sure to watch my youtube videos where I talk about how to get rid of the past and things that decrease your motivation.