A written undertaking is a paper stating that you take on doing something in the literal sense. Before moving on to the session experiences in the coaching process, providing the individual with a personal perspective on the responsibility of the decisions made with commitment, and making him/ her realize the miraculous power of making a commitment and giving an undertaking in life, I will start my blog post by asking you a question again.
“Do you know who you are not?”
Please write down on a piece of paper the question of solution, which brings you closer to concepts of self-recognition, self-knowledge, and self-discovery that I have mentioned many times in my blog posts, but will provide you with a completely different direction.
At the end of this blog post you will now read, I hope that you can solve an issue that you are having difficulty with, or that you need to solve right now. Come on, as I mention in my book, let the future start today!
My coachee who has deep issues with her parents, issues of insecurity, broken trust, collapsed beliefs, unfair treatments, repeated destruction of the decisions taken, the need to balance, the elimination of wrongdoings, the situations waiting to be compensated said, “I tried my best but it didn’t work out, he didn’t give me a place in his life, I am leaving. I struggled a lot, now I question the details.”
However, apart from verbal discourses, all communicative discourses also indicated that she was holding on to the expected good news and a hidden hope of the justice to come. “Doesn’t he love me as much as I love him, can’t he break out of his career ambitions?” said her great cries of silence…
Past problems, making serious decisions, ending passivity, getting clear on issues with grey areas and making choices, creating a potential that can turn new pages for oneself by considering the issues from different angles, without forcing the conditions, without haste, without making sudden decisions, are among the topics in the coaching sessions; but this one was quite different. Celebrating and offering presents to life, being a person of value and feeling valued, valuing and making others feel valued as well, a celebration that comes after life experiences that require time and process!
Sometimes everything seems hopeless, like changing the past completely. Similar cycles may have to come to an end, there may be internal conflicts taking place inside individuals, there may be situations that by force need to end with frustrations, eventually, decisions may always need to be made, there may be issues such as understanding someone with passive introversion conditions,… etc.
Many things can happen, that’s life; but out of all these processes, one can come out very strong. Don’t make yourself believe in despair! Don’t be an extra in other people’s dreams! You are the lead in your life story!
Past betrayals, lies told to you, continuous procrastination, continually getting postponed, renunciations, misbehaviors, words that should never have been said, guilt, injustice, regret, disbelief, fears, emotional worries, abuse, emotional neglect, circumstances surrounding you, the reasoning of conscience, patience, hopes, courage, choices, struggles, protecting, spiritual violence, psychological violence, … Yes, you have experienced them all, yes, you have been put through all, and yes, you have made others go through them all as well, so can you tell me now, how can your life proceed?!
Aren’t you tired of great vortices that make relationships unhealthy, lead to dead-ends in communication, that begin with avoidance of taking steps towards conclusion and completion, away from being truthful, that do not progress with clear lines, with people that, in fact, have different intentions, who do not open their hearts to you, show you what is in their hearts differently, disrupt that beautiful harmony between, ignoring the beauties between, restricting, hindering, testing you with lack of communication, who do not complete the work that they started, …etc. aren’t you tired of swimming in waters with people you have been through so much, to places where you don’t know the way, you don’t know the end, you don’t know how to wear your heart on your sleeve, you don’t know who you are, you don’t know the depth…
How many more times are you going to struggle in panic to not drown in a water that is way over your head, aren’t you tired of it… You may not go back to those days, but the alarm is ringing, hear it, please.
TRANSITION FROM ILLUSION TO REALITY…
CLARIFICATION FROM SUPERFICIALITY INTO DEPTH…
IT’S TIME TO START FRESH…THE ALARM GOES OFF, IT’S TIME, IT’S TIME TO STEP UP, WE ARE GOING TO GO A LONG WAY!
In order to be free from getting offended quickly, getting bored quickly, childish actions, and put things in order, we will first consolidate. “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.” Hit the road, and smile!
How did you get there by showing little of your potential and using so little of it… In what kind of relationship could you be happy acting cool, keeping your distance, staying away, using strategies to keep the attention on…
Life rolled the dice, he said let the game begin, but what happened in those risky uncertainties…
Distrust, heartbreak, fears moving forward, who has not experienced them in their life story…
Some actions make sense when they are done on time, you are right, but they did not happen and they were never done.
While happiness would be mutual if it was done in the past, now you are afraid of getting caught up again and you turn a blind eye to your feelings. Well, aren’t you tired of staying in the mystery where you suppress the things you feel, without giving up the hesitations of the past that you think you keep you safe, without giving a permanent relationship trust? Come on, ask that question you asked yourself again, which you thought was not heard in yourself; why am I in these relationships, when I just wanted to feel good about myself… It didn’t happen, did it?
Our happiness should never be tied to and dependent on what others do or don’t do, what they say or don’t say. Every season, trees change their leaves, not their roots. Something I recently shared on my youtube channel, which requires focus;
It’s important that you watch my Youtube video at this stage.
In a session with a coachee, the reality he realized he was in when he was talking about his relationship was; I couldn’t be happy with my mechanical thoughts and mechanical heart.
How can a person who argues even with his own heart, is always success-oriented, wants to protect himself constantly, wants to stay rational, does not want to be defeated by his heart, is afraid of his feelings but cannot stand them any longer, get out of the state of unhappiness and apathy he is in?
How can a person who feels weak, who always comes off as cold, hides, hides his true feelings, establish healthy communication with the person or people he is in a relationship with?
What do you think someone who always has the desire to share, who wants to balance emotions, is tired of questioning himself, and needs constant effort from those around him and who is judgmental, angry, resentful, depressed, broken without the attention he expects, a person who has risen, learned, and has come to a crossroads, answers to the question, what do I need to learn from the thing I am going through, that he directs to his haughty and sad state? Where does his answer take him?
Deep down, you know the answer, what you feel is true…
I asked another of my coachees with a similar story; what is the direction you will move forward, and what is the path in that direction? He stopped and thought for a long time, asked for water, played with his glass of water, gazed off, drank water again, waited. I waited calmly until he answered, because at that moment, he was at the intersection of his mind, four directions in front of him, each of them a road, but which one…
A true inner liberation begins when we come to show compassion for ourselves in the moods we find ourselves in. A hidden area of obstacle that we create for ourselves is constantly striving to develop strategies. Deciding how to use your intelligence is the subject of another session. Think about it, an intelligence that has darkened one’s heart, that works cunningly…
Facing the self within yourself! Staying in lack as you do not do what needs to be done while trying to find the way… Getting rid of the part of you that finds an excuse and has an answer for everything… Our values, character, personality are much more valuable than the adjectives we carry, our titles, and our life roles. Know that you deserve to enjoy life, to experience happiness that is real and lasting, and that you deserve the best of everything you can have in life.
I want to share a very good quote from Shams Tabrizi at this point, “no one loses anyone, the one who leaves finds someone else, the one who stays finds himself…”
How is a direction analysis done?
How do we find our direction without frozen emotions, stalling anyone, stalling ourselves?
Unless you see yourself as adequate instead of inadequate and you realize your self-values, unless you understand that you are already whole and complete, you cannot balance and find your direction by creating the conditions associated with it in your life. You are already perfect just the way you are, and you can call this into being in all areas of your life.
At that moment, the roads that you think are closed will already be opening in your favor. It is possible for everyone who is aware of their self-worth, who has high self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem, to live a life in which they will be satisfied in every way, materially and morally, and where all limitations are removed. In my book THE FUTURE STARTS TODAY, I wrote about how to make this possible, how to coach yourself in detail, I asked questions and shared practical applications. Be prepared to take in happiness!
In one of my sessions, it was very pleasant when my coachee described the point she reached in the flow of coaching, “Flying and dancing with happiness on the Ferris wheel at the top of a rainbow…” It was a great AHA! moment of being free of the feeling of lack and reaching fulfillment. It is possible for all of us to come out of chaos through reason and wisdom.
“Do you know who you are not?” I had asked, and I asked this to my coachee as well. She tried to distance herself from the person she was not with the answers she gave in the session.
“I choose to go my own way and walk away, I don’t know where the road takes me, but I am tired. I will get on a ship and intend to leave, and we will see where the road leads me. I don’t want to make calculations, I don’t want to force or be forced, I want to stay in observation, I want this process to come to an end, I want to be silent. Coaching really is a conversation with oneself.”
What do you want, what don’t you want?
What changes, what doesn’t?
Where would you like the road to take you?
A state of self-knowledge, self-discovery, and self-recognition allows you to make decisions at the points you are enlightened. It allows you to set goals, and when you commit to those goals, set your time, and promise yourself, they cease to be just intentions and dreams. Thousands of my coachees, countless students and mentees have experienced the miracle of making commitment and giving an undertaking in their own processes.
DECIDING! MAKING A FINAL DECISION!
My coachee, who leaves the glass of water on the table, answers the question;
“I have arrived at an intersection, I am at a four-way intersection, and I have to make a start. The end of the road is peace, a journey to my own self, different paths, detours, a new direction, a new life, and my path leads to peace. I will choose not the four paths that are offered in front of me in my own sacred path, but the secret path that I have created myself. Sometimes, people run away from the things they want to live, even if they really want them… “
“…I can’t, I have fears. Carrying a sense of self, breaking the shells, moving away from the old me, leaving the old and celebrating the new me…”
“… broken in pieces in the past, I want to pull myself out of this vortex. I must forgive… myself! “
“… the only place to go, the last place to go… I have to take the wheel with my decision, I will make my own decisions with my own will! “
“… I want to heal my emotional wounds, get away from those who continued doing the same things to me, knowing I was hurt. I have to make moves. I will notice my own bad habits and change them.”
“… whoever whatever I had postponed, saying that this situation, person is not urgent, collapsed on top of my head. At the heart of all the issues I buried myself in work, I had fears, and now I understand that I left them all uncertain and hanging in the air.”
“… it was pointless to try to fix the old, it was easier to build the new in its place. I will observe impartially…”
WHAT CAN’T YOU MAKE HAPPEN; WHAT CAN YOU MAKE HAPPEN?
WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?
WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO EXPERIENCE?
WHAT MAKES THAT POSSIBLE?
WHAT’S THE WAY TO OVERCOME FEAR?
WHAT WILL MAKE YOU MOVE FORWARD?
WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?
WHO SHOULD YOU BE FOR ALL THIS?
WHAT IS YOUR COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF?
You are the great miracle that will start the future today, and I am with you!
Now write and sign your own undertaking to the decision you have made with the answers you gave on a blank piece of paper!
I will be with you on the path you choose, and at the end of that path you will reach!