Looking at Life Through the Lens of Self-Love
At the core of happiness is self-love. It’s that strong sense of security one has both when life is going as planned, and when it’s not, it’s a profound satisfaction in knowing you are a fantastic human being, even though you are not perfect.
Self-love can best be described as knowing yourself intimately, being well aware of your assets and having taken responsibility for your shortcomings AND having zero interest in hiding your true-self or pretending you are something you are not. For effect, I repeat zero interest in pretending you are something you are not.
With self-love comes freedom
Freedom from fear of rejection: Will you still experience rejection? More than likely. I didn’t say freedom from rejection, I said freedom from the fear of rejection. You’ll take chances knowing that even if (for example) the girl says no, you don’t get the job; the customer refuses to buy, it is no reflection of you, and you’ve just moved one “no” closer to a “yes.” Without hesitation, you believe you have value, even if someone else is too blind to see it. Sure, there will be times that people may judge you or even laugh at you, but you are not afraid of it b because you know you are enough.
Freedom from financial insecurity: Are you going to be rich? I don’t know, that’s up to you. Will you be in constant fear and worry about money? NO! You will have enough faith in yourself to trust your instincts; you will learn that you are resilient and resourceful and will find ways to meet your needs.
Freedom from fear of failure: I’m not guaranteeing you are going to be wildly successful at everything you do. I’m saying you will embark on new things, take calculated risks and step out of your comfort zone because you are not afraid. You are resilient; you look at outcomes as learning experiences, not a failure. Besides, you know that the worst-case scenario seldom comes to pass anyway.
Will there be bad days, challenges, or storms in life. PLAN ON IT. Having self-love is not synonymous with living a life full of rainbows and unicorns. Things will go awry, and when they do, it stings. Badly. Will you feel lousy when it does? Probably. You are still human, and grief is a valid, natural, and healthy emotion. I suggest you do feel it, feel it fully, and then let go of it, so it doesn’t keep you down. Think of it as an unexpected guest that is allowed to “visit,” but don’t let it “move-in.”
How do you move on? Change your perspective. Instead of looking at the experience as a loss, consider it a gain. You’ve paid the tuition of life so that you can become stronger and wiser. It’s an investment that will pave the way for your next venture. Failure only has the power that you assign to it; decide you are more powerful. When you empower yourself, it’s easy to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move onward.
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Winston S. Churchill